Nudity? No thanks, I read it for the articles

India is in the works to launch Playboy, but get this, without nekkid girls. The International Herald Tribune put it best, “In this, the land of the ancient Kama Sutra, the holy temples are sexually explicit and the dirty magazines are clean.”

So what will be in the Indian Playboy? Christie Hefner, Playboy's chief executive, told Los Angeles Times reporters in December that the Indian magazine would focus on "the lifestyle, pop culture, celebrity, fashion, sports and interview elements of Playboy."

Instead of airbrushed, siliconed “hot rosh malai”, the sexual content will be metaphorical—Bollywood style. Wet salwaar kameez contests maybe? But why even pick up the magazine when you can walk by to a nearby temple and see nekkid girls carved on the stone walls and stare at Shiva’s erect lingam? (Not that I have EVER done that.)

I too, thought that South Asians were at least outwardly conservative. One of my friends in New York, a species of humans called frat boys, once said, “I’ve never seen the porn of your people…. and I’ve seen a lot!” I agreed with him. But a few months ago, Germ called me from a downtown porn shop and informed me that he finally found the porn of “my people.” Aha! So it exists. My friend in Toronto told me a true story that happed in the land of Bin Laden-decorated rickshaws. A few years ago this Bangladeshi-American guy, Sumon, seduced many university girls to sleep with him in his nice house, as he secretly videotaped it and later distributed and sold it. He would tell them things like how he loved them and how he was going to marry them. He hasn’t been caught because he fled to where he lives in L.A. He made himself rich. In the meantime, the girls’ reputations were ruined and some even committed suicide. Sumon blackmailed them to give him serious cash to destroy the tape…. of course, no one could afford that.

My point is, sexual prohibition leads to crime because it just moves it underground and fewer people make money off of it, usually the woman who is the “star”. And maybe Indian Playboy could potentially lower sex-related crime by showing a little nekkidness.

I love you T

meandt
Originally uploaded by Tales of a lost space cadet.

T is my best friend from childhood. We did everything together. She is the girl standing next to me in all my birthday pictures starting from age 6. We learned how to ride two wheelers together, we took ballet, tap, jazz, folk dancing and violin classes together. Our parents made us sleep in the same bed so we would get chicken pox together (it didn’t work). And as we got older, our friendship got tested. Right before our first big ballet recital at the Academy of Music (we were 8 years old), she got her first epileptic seizure. She gave up ballet after that and so did I. Besides, ballet was no fun without her. In middle school new friends entered our worlds, we developed different interests, and with each year we became more night and day. Even our roles changed. Sometimes I was her friend, sometimes I had to be her sister, and sometimes I had to be her mother…. And she did the same for me. The doctor said that with age, the epilepsy would go away. It didn’t.

I can’t imagine going through any difficult time without her. She told me I was smart when I was failing macro, she told me I was beautiful after I got dumped, she even told me how strong I was when my dad was dying in the hospital and I felt like anything could break me in half. But when T said it, I believed it.

So what do you do when your best friend is in the hospital getting her head cut open? You cry, you try not to throw up, you try to distract yourself with other things. I’m remembering all our good times, and wondering if she will come out of the surgery as the same T.

New Year's Day 2006

I spent the early part of New Year's Eve walking around downtown Toronto with my friend. We ate at this amazing Korean bbq place where I burnt my arm on a stone bowl, and then we couldn't figure out what to do.... there were a ton of cool stores where we explored for a little but since the weather was so cold we ducked into this movie theater. I don't know why, because so many people go to the theater on New Years and Christmas, but EVERYTHING out was lame shit from Lamewood. So yeah, cough, I ended 2005 by watching a Jennifer Aniston movie.

Then we went back to our hotel where there were hordes of people checking in. The two days prior were pretty quiet. Later that night I ended up being the only girl in the sauna with a bunch of undergrads from Ohio State. "So are you a student?" one asked. "No I'm actually a teacher, what about you?" I feel bad for thinking they were cute.... they were probably in 4th grade when Kurt Cobain died. Ew! Then I started talking to the other guys.... yup, they were all minors. I didn't put it together then, but I realized its because the drinking age in Canada is 18, so its a somewhat close/affordable place for American kids to go to drink legally.

All the restaurants were booked that night, so we went to the one area with many great restaurants, fun parties/people and available seating.... the gayborhood. And after a heavy dinner, a few glasses of champagne, and dancing, my mind could only think about one thing -- my pjs.

The next morning.... New Year's Day, I left the hotel at 8 a.m. and people were still staggering in with alcohol breath, caked-on makeup, rumpled clothes, and tangly hair. For a brief moment I wondered if I was jealous of them .... jealous that I didn't have their stamina. The feeling passed.

So it was about 10 a.m. at the airport and I still didn't have a resolution.... I killed time at the bookstore. And as I was browsing, this short Woody Allen type with a sweater and black leather jacket pointed to this book and said "you HAVE to read this!" He went on passionately about how it will make you look at the world differently because it connects everything back to economics. "An economics book for the plane ride? No thanks" I thought. But after he left, I picked it up and after a few pages I was hooked. The book is called "Freakanomics" and although I wouldn't recommend it to serious people like Crazy One, who actually study the subject, I recommend it to people like myself, who got Cs in Macro in college. It makes economics "fun." So yeah, the mysterious sweater dude helped me come up with my New Year's resolution, to read more non-fiction about things I don't know much about.



The thing on the bottom right is my favorite Canadian fast food "poutine" which is like cheese fries, but instead of Whiz, it has chunks of cheese curd covered in hot gravy.

Once I got to Philly, I took a train to NJ and went to my friend's bridal shower. Now as a Space Cadet, this was one of the coolest earthling-hosted events I been to. Only people with vaginas are invited... there is lots of food and chocolate, you wear whatever you want, and its way cozier than the wedding itself. We got split up into two teams and had to make a wedding dress out of only toilet paper. The other team made a toilet paper lehanga, which I thought was clever, but we made a traditional one, and we WON! Aren't these the most stunning toilet paper brides you have ever seen? (sniff sniff)