Sunday, June 24, 2007

Squirrel-Qaida attacks


You have already heard of Al-Qaida but very few people are aware of the serious imminent danger to many West Philly residents posed by the animal terrorist organization, Squirrel-Qaida. They built their new headquarters in the walls of a West Philly residence where they have meetings, train, fuck and eat stolen bagels from The Green Line cafe and pizza from The Best House. Oh, and one of their favorite past times is to scratch on the walls and scurry around dragging their long, sharp nails along the inner walls and driving the resident of the 3rd floor crazy.

The landlord of this house has been M.I.A. and will not pay for the removal of this terrorist organization because it is too expensive.

A brief history
Squirrel-Qaida infiltrated this West Philly twin house when the adjacent neighbor
decided to tear down and fix the porch roof. A week after tearing the roof down, this neighbor decided that it was "too cold" and left the roof open to birds and rodents, such as the terrorist organization Squirrel-Qaida. Members of the organization started chewing out insulation and left bits of insulation on the porch everyday and made their way into the residence where they snuck in food from the nearby dumpsters of the Green Line cafe and Best House pizzeria.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

The Professor and the Pupil

Buy Mo's Book!

My good friend Mo (AKA Murali Balaji), just published his first non-fiction book (about the friendship of W. E. B Du Bois and Paul Robeson) that he has been working on for the past few years and I'm spreading the word. Please support this awesome accomplishment! (And he hasn't even turned 28 yet!)


This is me and Mo at the photo show I was in last year (I am trying to look like an elephant in case you were wondering…… I know you were).

He is the first out of my friends to publish a book so I am super excited and proud! You can check the book, The Professor and the Pupil: The Politics and Friendship of W. E. B Du Bois and Paul Robeson (Paperback) by Murali Balaji here.

Monday, June 11, 2007

My T9 snafu

We got our class pet, Nemo, the hermit crab last week (I wanted to name it Sebastian, but that’s another story). I don’t know much about hermit crabs, but knew there would be no one at school over the weekend to feed Nemo or wet his sponge, so I wrote an email to my kids parent’s (using my phone) and sent it out. Then after several odd responses from parents, i.e., “was that meant for us?” I finally checked my sent mail and realized what I wrote:

“Anyone interested in taking our arab home for the weekend?”

I know, it sounds bad, but really it was an honest mistake. See, I have my phone set to T9, or predictable type. . . and when you type 2722, ARAB comes up, not CRAB. Just thought you might want to know.

This is a cool T9 translator:

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Damn you! Myspace!

Back in the day before MySpace and other social networking sites, you could go to a party, and if or when you made a complete fool of yourself, you could choose to never see those people again. But now, they can come and find you. (Its been 7 years and this is still how he remembers me!) Case in point,

Date: May 29, 2007 5:15 PM
Subject: not sure if it's you

I think you puked in my house one year. maybe 2000 or 1999 but you came to a party, drank a huge drink (90% vodka - 10% orange juice) and puked all over my living room. Lou