Sunday, June 24, 2007

Squirrel-Qaida attacks


You have already heard of Al-Qaida but very few people are aware of the serious imminent danger to many West Philly residents posed by the animal terrorist organization, Squirrel-Qaida. They built their new headquarters in the walls of a West Philly residence where they have meetings, train, fuck and eat stolen bagels from The Green Line cafe and pizza from The Best House. Oh, and one of their favorite past times is to scratch on the walls and scurry around dragging their long, sharp nails along the inner walls and driving the resident of the 3rd floor crazy.

The landlord of this house has been M.I.A. and will not pay for the removal of this terrorist organization because it is too expensive.

A brief history
Squirrel-Qaida infiltrated this West Philly twin house when the adjacent neighbor
decided to tear down and fix the porch roof. A week after tearing the roof down, this neighbor decided that it was "too cold" and left the roof open to birds and rodents, such as the terrorist organization Squirrel-Qaida. Members of the organization started chewing out insulation and left bits of insulation on the porch everyday and made their way into the residence where they snuck in food from the nearby dumpsters of the Green Line cafe and Best House pizzeria.


At 2:15 PM, Blogger Fly said...

You know you can call the Board of Health.

I think they are part of Homeland Security now.


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