Saturday, July 29, 2006

Deodorant Rant

God damn its hot outside.....

So how come they only make deoderant for your pits when there are so many other places on your body that sweat?

Maybe I will invent "deoderant for the whole body" and become a millionaire.

Dear readers, please share your deodorant stories..... Have you ever tried deoderant on other places on your body? Did it work? If I invented such a product, would you buy it?

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

While my ukulele gently weeps

Check out this guy:

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

How do you know if you are going out with a terrorist?

A few weeks ago I met a guy at an open mike at a coffee shop. We clicked right away.... the friend way, not the romantic way and I invited him out for drinks and "games" later that night. He agreed and came. There were little odd things about him, but I let it slide because he was from out of town. Like the way he called all girls "dear." At first I thought it was patronizing but then I figured it was how he was brought up.

Basically everything this guy said seemed over the top. He had storage units in four different countries, pays rent for an apartment in another city that he doesn't live in, and mentioned being "kidnapped" last year. He speaks five different languages, one of them being Gaelic. Thats impressive and everything..... but who speaks Gaelic? Not anyone I knew. Something seemed shady.

We texted back and forth that week we met but didn't see each other. Then one rainy Monday he asked me to meet him for drinks at a very expensive hotel bar. I told him that I had nothing remotely appropriate to wear to a place like that, but he assured me that anything I wore would be fine. I decided that it would be "an experience" to go to a place so out of my element, so I went. We had little interesting conversations, but still, some of the things he said were over the top. I never met anyone like him. He made me uneasy yet intrigued. He told me he would be building a city in UAE..... I thought, "who builds a city?" But then again, who orders a bottle of champagne with a girl he hardly knows at a pricey hotel on a Monday night? I made sure I stayed guarded around him but tried to be myself.... (but a much more refined version.) I got really drunk and he carried me over the puddles and before I knew it, things started getting carried away.... (I'll leave out this part ;-)

Fast forward a few days..... he disappears. Stops texting. Stops calling. No explanation by email. I gave him a few days and wrote him a nasty email and called him a typical man-whore, full of shit. etc etc.

That got his attention because he wrote back. He never verbally apologized for disappearing, just said that he lost his Blackberry, and spent the next few days showering me with gifts and attention. He told me that he felt a "pure connection" with me. I didn't believe him. We couldn't have any less in common. Besides, what do you offer a guy who has everything? Either way, I decided to forgive him.

We spent Sunday morning talking under a tree in a graveyard. Every story he said about his family seemed a little odd. Like how they went through a lot of hardships and "were fighting for their country's cause", and how his cousins were shot in front of him. He just seemed too over the top. I went home and did what I am best at..... Googling people. But it was no help, his name was too common. So I went to wikipedia and looked up a certain military organization which also happens to have the same initials as a private retirement account and it turns out that the founder had the same last name as him.

Sure it could all be a coincidence. But it just makes so much sense.