Space Cadet endorses man dates

Fellas – Have you ever hung out with another straight guy pal for conversation and maybe to share a meal? Then you mister – have been on a “man date.” Yeah I know it sounds gay to me too, but trust me it’s a great concept. I read this article all about man dates in April 10th’s NYT with fascination. Wow, I thought, what a shame it is that most men do not do this thing that women always have – go out with a straight friend of the same gender and have intimate conversations about “everything and nothing.”

Now you may say, “hold on Space Cadet, I just went out with a buddy of mine last night for a beer – does that count as a man date? Well were you small talking about the game you were both passively watching and about how you were gonna ask your boss for a raise later in the week? If the answer is yes, then that doesn’t count as a man date. Man dates are about really talking and listening to your buddy without the social lubricants of sports, business or alcohol. Wait – I take that comment about alcohol back… wine is ok. Beer is not. Did you see the movie Sideways? As the writer in the NYT article stated, Sideways is really about one long man date.

Psychologists have long studied the patterns in male and female friendships and have found that the most important quality in female friendships is lots of talking and sharing secrets, for males it is sharing activities. Actually, that’s one thing I really like about male friendships – how guys consider it their duty to help a friend move or fix a leaky toilet (actions speak louder than words) – but I digress. Guys need to talk and share more with each other too. Just don’t stop sharing activities, that’s cool…. I think girls should do that more too.

Now you may feel apprehensive about going on your first man date, but never fear Space Cadet is here. And I realize that the man date is by no means a new thing, many of you might already be man daters (and if you are, stop reading now) because here come the man-dating FAQ’s.

1.) Question: I would like to try this man date thing out, but what if people think I am gay?

Answer: Just don’t wear your necktie around your waist and remember to scratch your balls every 30 minutes or so and you’ll be fine.

2.) Question: How do I ask someone out on a man date?

Answer: First, you can’t ask a guy out like how you ask a woman out. It has to be a guy you know, someone you are already friends with. That elusive, sexy and knowledgeable barista boy doesn’t count. Bring it up casually and remember consuming a meal together is totally optional. A man date can be a “walk and talk” in the park. But if you DO get dinner, go Dutch (split the bill in half.) Unless you are Bengali, then you must fight over the check.

3.) Question: Will my girlfriend/wife get jealous that I am hanging out with someone else?

Answer: If you are honest about what you are doing then she probably won’t. If she DOES get jealous, it just means that she is codependent and you are better off with out her. This is the ironic part, because man dates actually help people from settling into co-dependent relationships. Your main squeeze might even appreciate it that you are bitching to your buddy about your issues with your parents/boss/friend instead of her.

4.) Questions: How will going on man dates change my life?

Answer: Numerous studies have shown that men in mid-life are happier and more satisfied in marriages than women in mid-life. Scientists attribute this to the fact that marriage (for men) provides emotional support that they may not get otherwise. Women, of course, find this emotional support network elsewhere with their mothers, aunts, girlfriends and female co-workers to name a few. Man dates can possibly lead to world peace. Ok…. maybe that’s stretching it. But think about it – communicating with other men can increase negotiating skills and sensitivity. The love then spreads to those immediately surrounding them, and then the power of exponents work. Boom, world peace.