The New Yo' Momma Joke

So we all heard our share of yo' momma jokes from childhood.

Example: Yo' momma so stupid she saw a sign that said "Wet Floor" so she peed on it.

My classmates and I would come up with endless, ridiculous and creative come backs. Usually it was lighthearted but sometimes (if it came too close to the truth) feelings would get hurt and fists would fly into faces. I think I was 10-years-old when I heard my first "yo' momma" joke when I would sneak and watch late-night comedy that my parents disapproved of.

At school, I realized most of the kids pirated their momma jokes from stand-up comics and would alter them slightly to target the mother of the chosen classmate. But since I didn't have cable, I was stuck with coming up with my own.

Well, times they have changed.

Kids are losing their innocence faster. Their mothers and fathers are younger. Many of them are raised by their grandmoms. In a chapter called "The Black Inner-City Grandmother in Transition" Penn sociology professor Elijah Anderson wrote in his book "Code of the Street",
"In a literal sense, they fight to preserve their neighborhood and especially the lives of its children. This social context is important to an understanding of the grandmother's role, which, as we noted, has a long tradition but has at times been diminished. If it is resurgent now, that is largely because the social context – the dearth of able male breadwinners, the rise of crack-addicted daughters and male predators, and the general encroachment of the street culture into the fabric of the community – demands it. In her traditional role, the grandmother may really be viewed, romantically at least, as a selfless savior of the community. Her role may be compared to a lifeboat. If she is pressed into service, it is because the ship is sinking."

Maybe that explains why momma/pop jokes are so watered down these days. They aren't as potent or offensive because many of these inner-city kids don't respect their "parents" anyway.

I have a child..... I'll call her "Fresh T." Well, Fresh T was acting up all day so I finally told her that I was going to call her dad and tell him to pick her up. In a challengable and cool tone, T said "Go 'head. Call him. He ain't gonna pick me up. He drunk right now anyway." (Keep in mind that Fresh T is 6).

I always knew that Fresh T was intelligent. Smart and cynical at six. She knows that "yo' momma" jokes are passé. She knows that to really hurt someone, you gotta go straight for the one person they really love and respect. Their grandmom.

Totally unprovoked, she told another child (I'll call him 'Big Cheeks') "Yo' grandma so old, when she talk she look like a turtle with no teeth." Then she proceeded to do an imitation of Big Cheeks' grandmom, by sliding her lips over her teeth and speaking in a muffled grandma voice. I was shocked and amused. Shocked at how mean kids could be, even when they aren't provoked. Amused because I have met Big Cheeks' grandmom, and Fresh T's impersonation of her was cleverly on point. If I saw the scene before my eyes in a movie, I would have laughed hysterically, but since it was real I couldn't.

So as an escape from the politically correct, G-rated image I must portray daily, I am asking for your help, dear reader....

What is the best yo' momma, poppa, grandmom joke YOU have ever heard? You can even make up your own. Be creative. I am gonna make a collection and post them on a later blog.

Thanks for playing!