Thursday, August 25, 2005

Mom found my stash!

This is why I think moms are smarter than dads. When your dad catches you doing something wrong, he will ask a bunch of loaded-gun questions and confront you and give you a lecture about being disappointed in you and the whole think-about-how-this-will-affect-your-future talk while you are either a) denying it or b) silently hanging your head in shame. From that moment on, instead of being more open with your dad all it teaches you is how to better cover your tracks.

But moms, they are different. Before they accuse you of doing anything they will somehow let you know they know. In few words they will make a comment. They will give you “the look.” This will either result in a) confessing, b) stopping the unfavorable habit, or c) both. They are like Law and Order detectives…. they put out the evidence first so you don’t waste your time in denying it. Sometimes they are like teachers, they just look at you and listen real good, and out of nervousness you keep talking and then you are like "how did I let all that out?" You start having verbal diarrhea.

I came home this morning from Strayleah. We are in the process of moving and I remember my mom saying on the phone how she wanted to sell a bunch of furniture. Of course I thought nothing of it at the time. Living at home at my age, you gotta have a goodie drawer… you can’t just leave stuff out in the open and being the type of woman who respected privacy, my mom never pried into my business so I never worried. But then the policewoman who lives across the street said she was interested in buying my dresser.

So this morning I come home and find all my drawers taken out of my dresser. In the middle of my bed are all sorts of rolling papers, filters, and a little plastic bag with brown stuff in it. This is why I respect my mom and give her credit. She didn't say anything. She knows that would freak me out and when I freak out, I am less likely to open up and talk. Even if she looked at me for too long or too closely that would freak me out. But there were no mention, no knowing smiles.... just the stuff neatly on my bed. In other words, she knows. And then this afternoon she called from work to say "Did you polish the wood on your dresser? The policewoman is going to pick it up tonight." That's basically her way of checking if I even walked into my room, and trying to find out if I know that she knows. So all this means that she will expect a confession tonight.

Imaginary conversation:
“Hey ma, you know that stuff you put on my bed?”
Then she will give me the look. “Well, I just wanted to let you know that I am over that stuff. That’s the old me, I’m molding young minds now. See, its not even green. What does that tell you? It tells you that it’s real old. Anyways, you look tired now. How about I do all the dishes and put on a nice movie for you? Oh, and did I tell you today that I love you?”

11 Comments:

At 12:10 PM, Blogger Kogi Kaishakunin said...

SC, have to say your Mom has a nice way of saying "I know" :-) But do you think that the comsumption of green leafy substances is bad? Why the feeling of guilt? But I guess telling your mother that I treat it like having a drink is going to freak her out. Then again maybe you should point out that man made alcohol and God made grass...who do you trust? :-)

 
At 2:28 PM, Blogger Space Cadet said...

I never thought that the consumption of green leafy substances was bad.... still really don't. But I must say, that after teaching in public school and talking to the kids, especially middle school kids (who have family members who are dealers or who have been killed by dealers) I think about things differently. Before I started teaching, I was pretty sure I gave away ALL my stash, so I was surprised my mom found something I didn't even know I had. Like I said, its old.

Traveling back and forth from earth and space, I realized that earthlings have this thing called the class system. As a member of the middle class, people don't really feel the negative effects of the green leafy substance trade. I've known dealers of different classes. Some do it for excitement, some do it for a little extra cash, and the last and most dangerous, are the ones who do it for their livelihood - the ones who live in the inner city. Then you also have the suburban dealers, like the kid who videotaped everything on American Beauty. They deal, but only those who buy know they deal. They have a cover-up job. Middle class kids aren't afraid to go home or share a room with an older sibling that deals, a sibling that will beat them up badly without hesitation if something is missing. There are always weirdos hanging around their house and mom can't kick them out because she also depends on it to buy groceries of whatever, so she turns a blind eye. I guess thats where the guilt comes from?

I like that line, "man made alcohol and God made grass...who do you trust?" But yeah, that would freak my mom out if I said that. Besides, she thinks you are such a nice boy!

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger Kogi Kaishakunin said...

Make the green leafy substance legal. But I think the ciggy lobby in DC will not let it happen. If alcohol is legal then why not grass. The worst thing is that in the list of dangerous drugs, grass and heroin are on the same page !!!

 
At 1:29 AM, Blogger chowda said...

first of all you cant dictate what is 'natural'. God made everything. because alcohol was fermented doesnt make it 'un-natural'. if you folded a piece of paper, its still paper that came from a tree.

second of all, marajuana is quite addictive. alcohol is legal because it is a centrally controlled substance. it can be produced and manufactured anywhere under regulation. marajuana is not the case.

whether you wanna or dont wanna smoke it not the issue. too many stoners wanna justify their high by saying 'if its OK for me, its OK for everyone'. thats the worst kind of argument. ask yourself if youd want your child to smoke.

if you think smoking is harmless, ask all the indentured workers in developing nations who are under cartel control? making it legal wouldnt change that either. thered always be a market for illegal substances. what you can change is decreasing demand for the product, thereby shifting the very need for the market.

 
At 1:46 PM, Blogger Kogi Kaishakunin said...

I agree that you can't dictate what is 'natural'. So are you saying that paper is something natural. I would agree if it say dropped off of a tree without intervention of man. But we digress here...

There is no proof that marijuana is addictive. But I will take you at face value. So alcohol and smoking are not addictive?

Making marijuana legal would involve regulating its growth. That's a no-brainer.

My argument is that if the govt can say ciggys and alcohol are legal then I see no harm in making marijuana legal. Both smoking and drinking are addictive and harmful to health. But they are legal and can bought over the counter. All I am saying is give marijuan the same freedom or ban all three.

 
At 3:33 PM, Blogger Krakovianka said...

All I have to say is... WOW!

 
At 1:31 PM, Anonymous Ogal Finklestein said...

D-Dawg,
As both a father and a former pothead, I didnt think you'd dis us fathers like that.
If I caught my boy with good green leafy substance I would just let him know what I used to do and my concerns.
I dont think Id try to stop him or anything. (We'll see where my opinion stands 10 years from now).
(know he owns some stank crap, Im might berate him for the poor quality; wasting his money on horrible crap)

Now my wife would lock him away in a dungeon until he was 18.

My friend's parents, also former potheads, were VERY laid back when my friend's stash was found.
(In fact we later found out his mother toked up herself!)

 
At 12:42 AM, Blogger Space Cadet said...

When one of my friend's was in high school, his mom said "Now honey, if you want to try pot, let mommy know and she will get you some good stuff."

But my mom isn't like that. She's a traditional South Asian mom, who hasn't explored illegal substances in her life. And since I can't use that famous line from anti-drug ads from the Nancy Reagan generation "I learned it from watching you! I learned it from watching you." I had to get a better come back if I get confronted. (UPDATE: My mom is so under stress that she forgot about the whole incident.)

My come back: "I learned it from watching Shiva mom. I learned it from watching Shiva."

 
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At 1:24 AM, Blogger Hoodia said...

Help me Dude, I think I'm lost..... I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket. No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender". He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a San Diego cosmetic surgery doctor ,to fit into those blue suede shoes of yours. But Elvis said in the Ghetto nobody can afford a San Diego plastic surgery doctor. Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger. Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch a waaaay cool make-over show featuring some Tijuana dentists on the TV in the back of my Hummer. And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . . "You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on " Strange day or what? :-)

 

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