Tales of a lost space cadet

My version of "Making Days Longer"

2009-06-16T19:02:00.000-04:00

How to pick up women

2008-02-24T22:57:00.001-05:00

Law and Order: Special Letters Unit

2008-02-22T18:23:00.003-05:00

No letters can get past the elite squad known as the Special Letters Unit. Sesame Street is soooo awesome!

Update: What I am doing about balding

2008-01-15T12:24:00.000-05:00

October 15th, 2007 (Before)January 15th 2008 (After)

A lot of people have been asking me for updates, but as it takes time to see results I have waited till exactly 3 months later from my original post.

This is by no means a respectable scientific experiment, but rather a casual method. I took the photo from the same angle at the same location with the same lighting, on shampooed, blow dried and brushed hair.

The good news is that I HAVE been losing less hair, but I can't attribute it solely to the onion and honey "tonic," since I haven't been religious about it. I've been doing the onion and honey tonic once every two to three weeks. I say bad news because I don't know what to attribute my thicker-looking hair to, since I've implemented many small changes. There is no control group.

The changes include:
1) I switched shampoos (LUSH Cinnamon Spice Shampoo bar)
2) Stopped wearing tight hats unless absolutely necessary
3) Switched to an ionic blowdryer (Conair makes a good, affordable one)
4) Onion and honey tonic once every 2-3 weeks (More would be better, but who has the time and patience? I also found that the smaller onions don't smell as bad)
5) Oiling the scalp once a week, personally I don't think it matters whether or not its coconut oil or Amla oil, I haven't noticed a difference in oil type.
6) Eating better... more fruits, vegetables and proteins and less enriched flour and sugar..... I've also eliminated coffee and smoking.
7) When I need to tie my hair up, like for the gym or yoga, I don't use rubber bands but rather those hair ties that are made from a stocking-like material.... it doesn't leave bumps in your hair either! You can get them at CVS.
8) Stopped coloring my hair

I will still continue to update and look forward to hear from others who are combatting hair loss the natural way! Thanks to everyone who wrote supporting messages and shared their stories. I like hearing your stories!

Similes everywhere

2007-10-22T16:52:00.000-04:00

What I am doing about balding

2007-10-15T14:01:00.000-04:00

Yes, space cadet is going bald. I've noticed that whenever I pull out my hair band these days, take a shower, or use a brush, at least 100 hairs fall out. I leave a trail and mark my territory wherever I go.... class, home, bathroom, kitchen, other people's apartments. I look at old pictures of myself from high school and envy the long, thick, shiny dark brown hair I used to have. My ten year reunion is coming up and I don't want to be that chick who went bald. I don't mean to exaggerate, I know that I still have a lot of hair left, but the point is I used to have so much more. Maybe its years of stress, bad nutrition, wearing hats, smoking, living in a polluted environment, dyeing, blowdrying, etc.

I heard from a few aunties in India about a natural remedy for thinning hair that required rubbing the juice from half an onion and mixing it with 1 tablespoon of honey and leaving it on for an hour to overnight and shampooing it out. I found very little information on the internet and other people have tried it and there was a study done in the Middle East and half of the people tried the onion & honey treatment, and the other half had tap water. After a few weeks the group with the onion & honey showed new hair growth. I think its the sulfur in the onion that causes hair to grow.

I decided to give this thing a try, so if you see me around you'll know why I smell like a hoagie.

I'm a Simpson!

2007-08-02T21:18:00.000-04:00

Dear friends, I have moved to Springfield!

Squirrel-Qaida attacks

2007-06-24T14:22:00.000-04:00

You have already heard of Al-Qaida but very few people are aware of the serious imminent danger to many West Philly residents posed by the animal terrorist organization, Squirrel-Qaida. They built their new headquarters in the walls of a West Philly residence where they have meetings, train, fuck and eat stolen bagels from The Green Line cafe and pizza from The Best House. Oh, and one of their favorite past times is to scratch on the walls and scurry around dragging their long, sharp nails along the inner walls and driving the resident of the 3rd floor crazy.

The landlord of this house has been M.I.A. and will not pay for the removal of this terrorist organization because it is too expensive.

A brief history
Squirrel-Qaida infiltrated this West Philly twin house when the adjacent neighbor
decided to tear down and fix the porch roof. A week after tearing the roof down, this neighbor decided that it was "too cold" and left the roof open to birds and rodents, such as the terrorist organization Squirrel-Qaida. Members of the organization started chewing out insulation and left bits of insulation on the porch everyday and made their way into the residence where they snuck in food from the nearby dumpsters of the Green Line cafe and Best House pizzeria.

The Professor and the Pupil

2007-06-13T20:24:00.000-04:00

Buy Mo's Book!

My good friend Mo (AKA Murali Balaji), just published his first non-fiction book (about the friendship of W. E. B Du Bois and Paul Robeson) that he has been working on for the past few years and I'm spreading the word. Please support this awesome accomplishment! (And he hasn't even turned 28 yet!)

This is me and Mo at the photo show I was in last year (I am trying to look like an elephant in case you were wondering…… I know you were).

He is the first out of my friends to publish a book so I am super excited and proud! You can check the book, The Professor and the Pupil: The Politics and Friendship of W. E. B Du Bois and Paul Robeson (Paperback) by Murali Balaji here.

My T9 snafu

2007-06-11T22:44:00.000-04:00

We got our class pet, Nemo, the hermit crab last week (I wanted to name it Sebastian, but that’s another story). I don’t know much about hermit crabs, but knew there would be no one at school over the weekend to feed Nemo or wet his sponge, so I wrote an email to my kids parent’s (using my phone) and sent it out. Then after several odd responses from parents, i.e., “was that meant for us?” I finally checked my sent mail and realized what I wrote:

“Anyone interested in taking our arab home for the weekend?”

I know, it sounds bad, but really it was an honest mistake. See, I have my phone set to T9, or predictable type. . . and when you type 2722, ARAB comes up, not CRAB. Just thought you might want to know.

This is a cool T9 translator: http://www.t9.com

Damn you! Myspace!

2007-06-02T13:46:00.000-04:00

Back in the day before MySpace and other social networking sites, you could go to a party, and if or when you made a complete fool of yourself, you could choose to never see those people again. But now, they can come and find you. (Its been 7 years and this is still how he remembers me!) Case in point,

Date: May 29, 2007 5:15 PM
Subject: not sure if it's you
I think you puked in my house one year. maybe 2000 or 1999 but you came to a party, drank a huge drink (90% vodka - 10% orange juice) and puked all over my living room. Lou

Bengali Skank

2007-05-02T01:09:00.000-04:00

I was reading the New York Times' Urban Eye section and they had this blurb about a Mad Professor show. I have been really interested in dub lately, so whenever I see something in the paper I look it up to learn more, so I looked up Mad Professor, and he has this song called "Bengali Skank." Can you believe that? I heard a little clip on itunes.

Not to say there aren't skanky Bengalis out there, but I wondered how someone from Jamaica, has even had any interaction with a Bengali.... but that is what is so fascinating about globalization, our world is so small and connected. I looked him up some more and found out that he isn't Jamaican (also, I learned it is ignorant of me to assume all reggae artists are Jamaican), he is Guyanese and raised in Britain...... so I am sure he has come across many Bengalis that way.

Martha Stewart can Beatbox!

2007-05-02T01:06:00.000-04:00

Beatbox Fame Game
Uploaded by loranger

What's your fine?

2007-03-18T09:55:00.000-04:00

My fine is $365! What's yours?

This is fun to do. Just read the "offense" and if you've done it, you owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each offense and added up your total fine. When you are done, post a comment starting "My fine is $....." You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine. The most you can have is $1205.......

1. Smoked pot -- $10
2. Did acid -- $5
3. Ever had sex at church -- $25
4. Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
5. Had sex with someone you met on Internet --$25
6. Had sex for money -- $100
7. Ever had sex with a lover of different ethnic background -- $20
8. Vandalized something -- $20
9. Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
10. Beat up someone -- $20
11. Been jumped -- $10
12. Crossed dressed -- $10
13. Given money to stripper -- $25
14. Been in love with a stripper -- $20
15. Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10
16. Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
17. Ever drive drunk -- $20
18. Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
19. Used toys while having sex -- $30
20. Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
21. Went skinny dipping -- $5
22. Had sex in a pool -- $20
23. Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
24. Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
25. Cheated on your significant other -- $2
26. Masturbated -- $5
27. Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $35
28. Done oral -- $15
29. Got oral -- $5
30. Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25
31. Stole something -- $10
32. Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
33. Made a naughty home video -- $15
34. Had a threesome -- $50
35. Had sex in the wild -- $20
36. Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25
37. Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20
38. Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
39. Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25
40. Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50
41. Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
42. Went streaking -- $5
43. Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
44. Been arrested -- $5
45. Spent time in jail -- $15
46. Peed in the pool -- $50
47. Played spin the bottle -- $5
48. Done something you regret -- $20
49. Had sex with your best friend -- $20
50. Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
51. Had anal sex -- $80
52. Lied to your mate -- $5
53. Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

Tally it up and Title it..."My Fine Is..." Then post a comment.

Its bad when you disappoint the cat

2007-03-02T23:48:00.000-05:00

The thing about nights with warm weather is that it makes me want to smoke. So for the first time in a long period, I went to my porch and smoked a cigarette. Grandpa (my neighbor's cat) looked at me like he didn't recognize me at first. Then something worse happened.... he DID recognize me, he just looked at me disappointed.... or maybe disgusted and then he walked away. Then I got disgusted and disappointed in myself too. Usually when he sees me on the porch he curls around my ankles and acts all cuddly and playful. I put my cigarette out, when upstairs, washed my mouth out with mouthwash, and went to bed. Well, no... before I went to bed I wrote in my blog. I hope I don't have the desire to smoke again.

Preaching cabbie

2006-12-23T02:57:00.000-05:00

Running late, I took a cab to work this morning. The driver was a man from Sudan. He asked me if I was going home and I said no, I'm going to work.

He paused and asked, "Are you Indian?"
"No, my family is from Bangladesh."
"Oh, so you are Muslim?"
"No, I'm Hindu. We are minorities there."
"Do you want to become a Muslim?" (WHAT?! Gut says to Brain..... Ok, stay calm)
"No, I think I'm gonna stay Hindu."
"Would you convert for your husband?" (Double WHAT?! Brain responds to Gut...... stay cool, stay cool)

"Nah" I said getting uncomfortable. I thought, is this dude coming on to me? Or does he just try to convert all his passengers? Trying to make me his 3rd wife or something? If I wasn't already late for work and a few minutes away from my destination I would have gotten out, but I thought I'd stick it out. Then it just got weirder, he started sort of BEGGING me. "Oh come on, I can teach you how to be a Muslim." I acted like I couldn't hear. What sort of conversion technique is this? Begging?

So yeah, I got to work ok. And I made it out of the cab still Hindu.

Avoiding a "bhoori" at a desi wedding 101

2006-11-21T01:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I'm a little obsessed.... now that I'm a certified yoga teacher, I feel I must spread some healthy trancendental, tantric, karmic.... this thing...

Step 1: Wear a pedometer under your lehanga, kurta, sari, tuxedo or salwaar

For every kabab you eat, you must take 500 steps.... did you dip the kabab in sauce? Then log in another 200 steps

Step 2: What about the biryani? Well, that can easily be burned off by some cardio which can effortlessly be achieved by dancing bhangra to 2 Punjabi MC songs

Step 3: Oh, and don't forget to respect your elders! Salaam the mother and father of the groom or Namaskar the bride's great uncle at the next table. Salaams and Namaskars are in essence, when you take out the religious part, a simple forward bend..... Which works wonders for the abs and lower back. Simply bend forward, touch their feet, and put your hands in prayer position, and slowly come up contracting your abs. Repeat for every elderly person you see.

Good luck!

Dengue Fever

2006-09-23T11:11:00.000-04:00

The other night I think I made the right choice
I listened to the singer with the high-pitched voice

She made music that takes you to another place
Singing about long, lost loves with grace

It flows in your ears and you are taken away
to a beach in the Sixties in Asia or L.A.

The synth drones, guitars wail, drums drop
Surf rock meets Cambodian Pop.

Asked you to sign my CD. You wrote, “Thank you”
And I simply said “Thank you” back to you.

You put the innocence in things dangerous
like making carrot cake for a terrorist

It took a singer from Phnom Phen
But now I feel new again.

"We should hang out"

2006-09-22T02:50:00.000-04:00

So you know how you sometimes run into someone from high school/college at Trader Joes? You see her looking for peanut butter the same time as you and she raises her eyebrows and opens her mouth real big and screams "Oh my God!" and throws her arms around you like you are best friends and insists that you exchange numbers and/or email addresses and then says "we should hang out?"

And as you are walking out the store carrying your bags you think "that (fill in name) was ok. maybe we really did have a connection and maybe I really was a big part of her life." And then you call her a week later and leave a message after she possibly side-buttoned you. She doesn't call you back. And then you reflect back and remember that you never even had a deep conversation with her and maybe the only bonding you did was bitching about the same professor while running into each other at the library.

Well, that always happens to me. I don't know why people do that. The whole exchanging contact information thing.... if they dont ever intend to contact the person.

I guess people have a hard time saying, "It was good running into you. Enjoy your peanut butter. Bye."

Disco Comfortably Numb

2006-09-12T01:10:00.000-04:00

This post goes out to Bangalore transplant...

So the other weekend I took my teenage cousin out to a suburban mall. Out of the many stores to browse, she settled on one of those that make cheaply-made, yet expensive clothing. So this is what I have figured out about teenagers.... they don't care about the quality of clothes.... as long as its sold in a store with sexy lighting and sexy music. Music that makes you think of future parties you will be going to the next few months. Another thing I learned about teenagers is that they don't just TRY ON their clothes, they also DANCE in the clothes in the fitting room so they can see what they look like in it when doing "the wu tang".... and thats why there is always a long line coming out of the fitting room.

When I was a teenager, I told myself , "When I become an adult, I will be accepting of 'teenager' music." Now I am an adult and I take it back. Music that kids listen to these days suck. It was proven that one afternoon at the mall.... so I'm waiting for my cousin in the fitting room and this horrible disco song that I never heard comes on and I'm mouthing the words. It turns out that some disco group did a cover of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb."

Imagine Comfortably Numb the way you remember it. Now take away Floyd's darkly subtle, atmospheric and melancholy vibes. Replace it with a fast-paced clubby beat. Now take away Roger Water's deep and haunting voice and replace it with some high-pitched-Bee-Gees-sounding shit.

The group that does it is called "The Scissor Sisters." They should be shot.

Deodorant Rant

2006-07-29T18:03:00.000-04:00

God damn its hot outside.....

So how come they only make deoderant for your pits when there are so many other places on your body that sweat?

Maybe I will invent "deoderant for the whole body" and become a millionaire.

Dear readers, please share your deodorant stories..... Have you ever tried deoderant on other places on your body? Did it work? If I invented such a product, would you buy it?

While my ukulele gently weeps

2006-07-18T09:46:00.000-04:00

Check out this guy:

How do you know if you are going out with a terrorist?

2006-07-12T04:35:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I met a guy at an open mike at a coffee shop. We clicked right away.... the friend way, not the romantic way and I invited him out for drinks and "games" later that night. He agreed and came. There were little odd things about him, but I let it slide because he was from out of town. Like the way he called all girls "dear." At first I thought it was patronizing but then I figured it was how he was brought up.

Basically everything this guy said seemed over the top. He had storage units in four different countries, pays rent for an apartment in another city that he doesn't live in, and mentioned being "kidnapped" last year. He speaks five different languages, one of them being Gaelic. Thats impressive and everything..... but who speaks Gaelic? Not anyone I knew. Something seemed shady.

We texted back and forth that week we met but didn't see each other. Then one rainy Monday he asked me to meet him for drinks at a very expensive hotel bar. I told him that I had nothing remotely appropriate to wear to a place like that, but he assured me that anything I wore would be fine. I decided that it would be "an experience" to go to a place so out of my element, so I went. We had little interesting conversations, but still, some of the things he said were over the top. I never met anyone like him. He made me uneasy yet intrigued. He told me he would be building a city in UAE..... I thought, "who builds a city?" But then again, who orders a bottle of champagne with a girl he hardly knows at a pricey hotel on a Monday night? I made sure I stayed guarded around him but tried to be myself.... (but a much more refined version.) I got really drunk and he carried me over the puddles and before I knew it, things started getting carried away.... (I'll leave out this part ;-)

Fast forward a few days..... he disappears. Stops texting. Stops calling. No explanation by email. I gave him a few days and wrote him a nasty email and called him a typical man-whore, full of shit. etc etc.

That got his attention because he wrote back. He never verbally apologized for disappearing, just said that he lost his Blackberry, and spent the next few days showering me with gifts and attention. He told me that he felt a "pure connection" with me. I didn't believe him. We couldn't have any less in common. Besides, what do you offer a guy who has everything? Either way, I decided to forgive him.

We spent Sunday morning talking under a tree in a graveyard. Every story he said about his family seemed a little odd. Like how they went through a lot of hardships and "were fighting for their country's cause", and how his cousins were shot in front of him. He just seemed too over the top. I went home and did what I am best at..... Googling people. But it was no help, his name was too common. So I went to wikipedia and looked up a certain military organization which also happens to have the same initials as a private retirement account and it turns out that the founder had the same last name as him.

Sure it could all be a coincidence. But it just makes so much sense.

Random stream of consciousness

2006-06-07T01:47:00.000-04:00

Yikes, I haven't written in a month so here goes....

I should have bought stock in Airborne..... the kids I had this year are the best, I'm gonna miss them so much sometimes I want to cry. Especially the cadet kids and the ones with speech impediments. I feel all smiley and gushy when I talk to a child who can't say double consanants, is that bad? I can't believe I saw Radiohead.... I still can't believe it. The highlight for me was "There there" and walking home in the pouring rain. I sort of flirted with "Comlag" barrista boy when I ran into him at the cell phone shop. Minutes later I remembered that I don't know anything about flirting so I said bye. Oh, and Mogwai would have been an awesome show if they turned on some fucking AC. I think I'm gonna kill Marvin, our house mouse. Enough of this peaceful cohabitance shit, you chewed on my ramen and I will have my revenge. The Sharper Image Mouse Mover isn't really working, its just making an annoying sound that I have learned to drown out. I wonder if Marvin (and co?) have gotten accustomed to drowning it out too. There is a child in my class whose dad is a big time drug dealer..... its sad because I really like that family. But his dad hasn't picked him up or dropped him to school for two weeks.... when I asked him, "hey, where is your dad?" he smiled and said "My daddy at camp" ..... now what adult goes to camp? What kind of camp is this? I'm thinking he went to jail. My holistic-healing ex-roommate got me eating Gojji berries (or Wolfberries) depending on the region, its supposed to be great for your vision and prevent cancer and a lot of other good stuff. Tonight for the first time, I tried em boiled, they tasted ok.... I guess to me, its like a fruit-version of wheat grass. It tastes nasty, but the fact that its good for you is worth it. It makes you WANT to love it..... My thinking is, if I am drinking shitty beer and eating french fries a few days out of the week, I can cleanse my system by eating these. Almost every woman at work is on Weight Watchers.... they are always talking about "points" and "being bad" (translation: eating a donut) and bonding..... and whenever I hear them talk I am reminded of that same isolation I felt from when I was the minority girl at the suburban newspaper and all the men at work would talk baseball.... and how I would go on espn.com just to be able to converse with them even if I didn't care.... maybe I should join Weight Watchers too so I don't feel left out. I wonder where I will be in the Fall.... haven't heard back from grad schools and teaching fellows. Waiting sucks. I'm really feeling that part in Dr. Seuss's "Oh the Places you'll go" when the person is in the worst place of all, the waiting place. Or maybe I'm in that Fugazi song "The Waiting Room." I loved this song before for the riff.... but now I love this song for the lyrics.

"Waiting Room" by Fugazi

I am a patient boy
I wait, I wait, I wait, I wait
My time is like water down a drain
Everybody's moving,
Everybody's moving,
Everybody's moving, moving, moving, moving
Please don't leave me to remain
In the waiting room
I don't want the news
I cannot use it
I don't want the news
I won't live by it
Sitting outside of town
Everybody's always down
Tell me why?
Because... they can't get up
Ahhh... Come on and get up
Come on and get up
But I don't sit idly by
Ahhh...
I'm planning a big surprise
I'm gonna fight for what I want to be
I won't make the same mistakes
Because I know
Because I know how much time that wastes
And Function
Function is the key
To the the waiting room
I don't want the news
I cannot use it
I don't want the news
I won't live by it
Sitting outside of town
Everybody's always down
Tell me why?
Because... they can't get up
Ahhh... Come on and get up
Up for the waiting room
Sitting in the waiting room
Ahhh...
Sitting in the waiting room
Ahhh...
Sitting in the waiting room
Ahhh...
Sitting in the waiting room
Ahhh...
Tell me why?
Because... they can't get up

Hate mail

2006-04-21T00:57:00.000-04:00

I got a funny email tonight in response to the year and a half year old Star and Buc Wild petition.

From: Sexyman4flylady@aol.com
To: xxxxxxxx@linuxmail.org
Subject: STAR AND BUC WILD PETITION
Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2006 12:50:44 EDT

YOU ARE SUCH A HATER LIKE STAR......DUH! IF YOU PAID ATTENTION TO THE THEME OF THE SHOW YOU'D KNOW THAT IT'S ON OBJECTIVE HATE YOU FOOL. STOP LISTENING TO THE SHOW YOU RAT EATER..W/THAT NAME OF COURSE YOU'D BE OFFENDED. BYE THE WAY...I'M A RICE AND BEAN EATING SPIC AND HE CRACKS ON MY PEOPLE TOO EXCEPT I DON'T TAKE IT TO HEART...HE'S RIGHT!

and my reply....

Thanks for writing Sexyman. I also prefer rice and beans to rats. We have something in common.

For your information, I have not listened to the Star and Buc Wild show in over a year. But if the show brings you pleasure, then I won't stop you.... enjoy it.

Oh, and BY THE WAY.... you spelled "BYE" wrong. I'm glad Star has idiots like you who can't spell as listeners.

This will be the last correspondence you receive from me.

Radiohead rumored to play Philly, well pretty close

2006-04-17T16:52:00.000-04:00

A quick post before I rush out to the CVS to buy anxiety pills...

This IS NOT official, but according to Greenplastic and Billboard, the buzz is that Radiohead will be playing the Tower Theater in Upper Darby on June 1 and 2nd. To see such a well-known and loved band in such a small venue is rare. The sound is amazing and every single seat is good.

My head just may explode now.

"The United Nations" of punk bands

2006-04-15T01:22:00.000-04:00

My old roommate gave me a call tonight to inform me that she had an extra ticket to see this gypsy punk band. It sounded cool so I went. It was at the Troc and I haven't been there since Clear Channel took over. I went in with zero expectations and after getting frisked at the front door, I read a sign that said "no moshing, no crowd surfing, no stage diving." I thought, hmmmm, the Troc sure has changed.

We went in and immediately all of our energy levels shot up. The music was like nothing I have ever heard. The band was called Gogol Bordello, and I think The New Yorker said it best when they described them as "something along the lines of a joint gig between a Gypsy wedding band, the Sex Pistols, the Jamaican dub impresario King Tubby, and Kraftwerk."

To me, it sounded like The Count from Sesame Street backed up by a punk band.

And then I, Space Cadet, finally felt the urge to "shake" in the humid room.... this phenomena that humans do called dancing. We all started dancing and moshing.... and thats saying a lot because I really, really don't dance. There were people who were dropping money on the floor and didnt care. We moved closer to the mosh pit, someone ran into the crowd and four people fell on me, but we all got up and kept dancing. We didn't care. The music was THAT GOOD. At the encore the lead singer with the funny mustache stood on a drum and crowd surfed. So yeah, the Troc hasn't changed.

I can't really describe them, you just gotta see em. Preferably live, but until then here is a music video and a crappy video of them performing on Jimmy Kimmel.

South Jersey Day Trip

2006-04-13T11:38:00.000-04:00

Everyone in Jersey drives. Thats the first thing I noticed. I needed to use an ATM and actually had to walk through a drive-though at a bank. I met up with SMc and MJ at this cutesy diner that has, no lie.....30 DIFFERENT TYPES OF GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES! It was the best.

We talked about many things, but what I remember most is talking about flash mobs. There is a pillow fight flash mob in Center City this Saturday. I really really want to start a marching band flash mob soon. When I got back into Philly, I bought "The Complete Idiots guide to playing the harmonica", cuz if I'm gonna do this whole marching band flash mob thing, I at least want it to be good. Synchronized and all. Like the way Indian classical and jazz musicians do, tell everyone the key, and then have everyone show up and improvise. But if everyone is in a different key its gonna sound like shit.

Anyways, so we get to the diner. The waiter did the whole "are you sure?" thing with MJ. Like remember that waitress from California who like a decade ago got fired because there was a pregnant lady smoking at a restaurant and she said "do you know smoking is bad for your baby?" or "are you sure you want to smoke.... in your 'condition?'" Anyways, I can see how someone can underestimate MJs eating (or drinking) potential, but I knew she could handle her own. When she ordered her sandwich and salad, the waiter raised his eyebrows in "are you sure?" position and said "our salads are REALLY BIG!" the menu said "Our sandwiches are REALLY BIG!" I was hoping that MJ would finish her food just so the waiter could be proved wrong. She did. I mean, if you are paying for it, why do they care whether or not you can handle the portions? As a restaurant business, don't you actually WANT your patrons to order the most possible?

After SMc left, we kept going. We ordered ice cream. Now I sort of understand why boys don't like wearing condoms.

The cone condom..... its a cute idea and all in theory, the ledge is there to catch all the spilling cream so your hand doesn't get sticky, but in practice you are always afraid of it slipping off that you can't relax and have fun.

I went with MJ to a nearby grocery to buy matzo meal because the Whole Foods on South Street ran out of matzo. Bummer, out of matzo on Passover. We wandered around and tried to guess the aisle it would be on. MJ thought "Aisle 2 under 'Ethnic'", I was thinking "Bread aisle." We asked the boy in the apron with saggy pants and front-tilted cap. We wondered why he was leading us to the Cheese aisle. He pointed to the mozarella balls. We giggled away.... he must have heard us wrong. MATZO! NOT MATZO-RELLA! I learned something new yesterday..... just because something is kosher, it doesn't mean its kosher enough for Passover. Like, there is a Kosher scale. All this time, I thought the Kosher thing was "pass/fail" when it actually gets 'grades." If you go to the matzo section, you will see that some boxes will have tiny print that says "not for Passover." (Quick-side note, the matzo at Metropolitan Bakery
is the BEST! Waaay better than the stuff you get out of a box at the grocery store.)

Some time soon, I will have to share my Passover experience from last night. It sort of fucked me up in the head. But we'll save that for later.

I think I'll start to eat organic this year

2006-04-11T09:41:00.000-04:00

I never understood the whole "organic" thing. I remember these girls munching on $6 bags of grapes and squirming about pesticides in my women's studies classes at Temple. I know that my old roommate and I would go grocery shopping and come home with the same staples... milk, eggs, bread, greens, fruits and her bill would be double because she chose to eat organic. This little vegetable animation done by the Organic Trade Association is fascinating and informative. After watching it, I think I might go organic too.

Let me know if you think the Salad Bar reminds you of Bob and Barbaras on 16th and South. I mean, the band? How freakishly similar!

My friend Neal informed me about a cheaper, convenient way to eat organic last year. Its not as cheap as the $1/bag of produce that the trucks on 44th and Sansom offer, but cheaper than say, Whole Foods. There is a farm in PA called Spiral Path Farm where you can become a member and pick up a box of fresh, certified organic produce weekly from May to November from local farmer's markets. There are pick-up locations at Clark Park and Rittenhouse Square and the box contains a newsletter with recipes you can do with the produce you receive for the week. Most of the outdoor farmers markets in Philly should be in full bloom starting the beginning of next month. Gazpacho anyone?

Most replaceable musician

2006-03-26T23:45:00.000-05:00

I went to a show at International House this afternoon and there was this fusion band that had two guitarists and a tabla player. In the background there was the familiar drony twang of a tanpura ... but I looked around and there was no tanpura player in sight. After their set was over, one of the guitar players got up and flipped a switch and the droning stopped.

Then I realized that this person,

was replaced by this

Its sad but true. The tanpura player is the most replaceable musician (at least when it comes to Indian classical music). In fact, I am convinced that it takes more talent to play the Kazoo. The fact that it took engineers so long to come up with the idea to create a device to replace the tanpura player is also questionable. I don't want to complain too much though.... shhh, ok I have a confession. No lie. In the late 90's, my family smuggled my cousin to the States with a youth Indian classical music troupe posing as a tanpura player. In fact, she didn't really "pose", my aunt gave her a tanpura, and she went on stage with them and sat and played with no previous experience. All you have to do is hold it and strum it with one hand slowly. It totally worked with the Immigration office! But now I have to think of new ways to smuggle my other cousins over. Any ideas?

Speaking of electronic devices replacing musicians, check out the PLOrk: Princeton Laptop Orchestra. How a bunch of Macintosh geeks got Zakir Hussain to perform with them I don't know, but they have a show coming up in early April.

That reminds me, I saw the amazing to listen to but boring to watch (sans video-projected tropical fish) RJD2 last month and just as my friend and I were inches from the exit door, he grabbed his guitar (I didn't know he played) and did an acoustic version of Making Days Longer. I would die for a recording of that.... its so much better than the album version, where his really really nice voice is manipulated.

Video Library idiots

2006-03-15T01:22:00.000-05:00

When I tried to take out a DVD from the Video Library on Saturday, the desk person informed me that I wasn't on the system.... I showed her my card, she asked me a few questions and came to the realization that I WAS on the system, but my last name was just misspelled on the computer.

She took my card and soon after she handed me a new card with the WRONG SPELLING. I politely said, "Thanks, but thats not my last name."

She says, "I know, but now it matches the wrong spelling on the computer... so next time no one will give you a hard time."

I was too tired to argue so I took my movie and left.

Wouldn't it just be easier to have changed my name to the CORRECT spelling on the computer than to make a new card with the wrong name?

Belentine’s Dey Cards

2006-02-09T22:30:00.000-05:00

The other day I was walking through the greeting card aisle at CVS and noticed that there were no greeting cards specifically targeted toward a South Asian market. So I took the liberty to create four greeting cards for the next holiday, Valentine’s Day, specifically made for desis.

Directions:
1) Click on the image and print the large version from flickr on a color printer
2) Cut the image in half
3) Fold a separate piece of cardstock in half
4) Glue the image on the cover and inside of the cardstock
5) Sign and give to your Valentine!

Love,
Space Cadet

Nudity? No thanks, I read it for the articles

2006-01-26T23:09:00.000-05:00

India is in the works to launch Playboy, but get this, without nekkid girls. The International Herald Tribune put it best, “In this, the land of the ancient Kama Sutra, the holy temples are sexually explicit and the dirty magazines are clean.”

So what will be in the Indian Playboy? Christie Hefner, Playboy's chief executive, told Los Angeles Times reporters in December that the Indian magazine would focus on "the lifestyle, pop culture, celebrity, fashion, sports and interview elements of Playboy."

Instead of airbrushed, siliconed “hot rosh malai”, the sexual content will be metaphorical—Bollywood style. Wet salwaar kameez contests maybe? But why even pick up the magazine when you can walk by to a nearby temple and see nekkid girls carved on the stone walls and stare at Shiva’s erect lingam? (Not that I have EVER done that.)

I too, thought that South Asians were at least outwardly conservative. One of my friends in New York, a species of humans called frat boys, once said, “I’ve never seen the porn of your people…. and I’ve seen a lot!” I agreed with him. But a few months ago, Germ called me from a downtown porn shop and informed me that he finally found the porn of “my people.” Aha! So it exists. My friend in Toronto told me a true story that happed in the land of Bin Laden-decorated rickshaws. A few years ago this Bangladeshi-American guy, Sumon, seduced many university girls to sleep with him in his nice house, as he secretly videotaped it and later distributed and sold it. He would tell them things like how he loved them and how he was going to marry them. He hasn’t been caught because he fled to where he lives in L.A. He made himself rich. In the meantime, the girls’ reputations were ruined and some even committed suicide. Sumon blackmailed them to give him serious cash to destroy the tape…. of course, no one could afford that.

My point is, sexual prohibition leads to crime because it just moves it underground and fewer people make money off of it, usually the woman who is the “star”. And maybe Indian Playboy could potentially lower sex-related crime by showing a little nekkidness.

I love you T

2006-01-18T19:17:00.000-05:00

meandt
Originally uploaded by Tales of a lost space cadet.

T is my best friend from childhood. We did everything together. She is the girl standing next to me in all my birthday pictures starting from age 6. We learned how to ride two wheelers together, we took ballet, tap, jazz, folk dancing and violin classes together. Our parents made us sleep in the same bed so we would get chicken pox together (it didn’t work). And as we got older, our friendship got tested. Right before our first big ballet recital at the Academy of Music (we were 8 years old), she got her first epileptic seizure. She gave up ballet after that and so did I. Besides, ballet was no fun without her. In middle school new friends entered our worlds, we developed different interests, and with each year we became more night and day. Even our roles changed. Sometimes I was her friend, sometimes I had to be her sister, and sometimes I had to be her mother…. And she did the same for me. The doctor said that with age, the epilepsy would go away. It didn’t.

I can’t imagine going through any difficult time without her. She told me I was smart when I was failing macro, she told me I was beautiful after I got dumped, she even told me how strong I was when my dad was dying in the hospital and I felt like anything could break me in half. But when T said it, I believed it.

So what do you do when your best friend is in the hospital getting her head cut open? You cry, you try not to throw up, you try to distract yourself with other things. I’m remembering all our good times, and wondering if she will come out of the surgery as the same T.

New Year's Day 2006

2006-01-06T21:00:00.000-05:00

I spent the early part of New Year's Eve walking around downtown Toronto with my friend. We ate at this amazing Korean bbq place where I burnt my arm on a stone bowl, and then we couldn't figure out what to do.... there were a ton of cool stores where we explored for a little but since the weather was so cold we ducked into this movie theater. I don't know why, because so many people go to the theater on New Years and Christmas, but EVERYTHING out was lame shit from Lamewood. So yeah, cough, I ended 2005 by watching a Jennifer Aniston movie.

Then we went back to our hotel where there were hordes of people checking in. The two days prior were pretty quiet. Later that night I ended up being the only girl in the sauna with a bunch of undergrads from Ohio State. "So are you a student?" one asked. "No I'm actually a teacher, what about you?" I feel bad for thinking they were cute.... they were probably in 4th grade when Kurt Cobain died. Ew! Then I started talking to the other guys.... yup, they were all minors. I didn't put it together then, but I realized its because the drinking age in Canada is 18, so its a somewhat close/affordable place for American kids to go to drink legally.

All the restaurants were booked that night, so we went to the one area with many great restaurants, fun parties/people and available seating.... the gayborhood. And after a heavy dinner, a few glasses of champagne, and dancing, my mind could only think about one thing -- my pjs.

The next morning.... New Year's Day, I left the hotel at 8 a.m. and people were still staggering in with alcohol breath, caked-on makeup, rumpled clothes, and tangly hair. For a brief moment I wondered if I was jealous of them .... jealous that I didn't have their stamina. The feeling passed.

So it was about 10 a.m. at the airport and I still didn't have a resolution.... I killed time at the bookstore. And as I was browsing, this short Woody Allen type with a sweater and black leather jacket pointed to this book and said "you HAVE to read this!" He went on passionately about how it will make you look at the world differently because it connects everything back to economics. "An economics book for the plane ride? No thanks" I thought. But after he left, I picked it up and after a few pages I was hooked. The book is called "Freakanomics" and although I wouldn't recommend it to serious people like Crazy One, who actually study the subject, I recommend it to people like myself, who got Cs in Macro in college. It makes economics "fun." So yeah, the mysterious sweater dude helped me come up with my New Year's resolution, to read more non-fiction about things I don't know much about.

The thing on the bottom right is my favorite Canadian fast food "poutine" which is like cheese fries, but instead of Whiz, it has chunks of cheese curd covered in hot gravy.

Once I got to Philly, I took a train to NJ and went to my friend's bridal shower. Now as a Space Cadet, this was one of the coolest earthling-hosted events I been to. Only people with vaginas are invited... there is lots of food and chocolate, you wear whatever you want, and its way cozier than the wedding itself. We got split up into two teams and had to make a wedding dress out of only toilet paper. The other team made a toilet paper lehanga, which I thought was clever, but we made a traditional one, and we WON! Aren't these the most stunning toilet paper brides you have ever seen? (sniff sniff)

Phew, Grandpa came back!

2005-12-26T13:25:00.000-05:00

Wanted to give everyone the happy Grandpa update. He came back meowing Christmas Eve. Thanks to Germ and Dehydration expert for all your valuable cat advice! I really appreciate it and now my neighbor doesn't have to know ;-)

Space Cadet wishes you a....

2005-12-24T11:13:00.000-05:00

and a

This will probably be my last post of 2005. Wanted to thank all my friends, family, random readers and stalkers. Space Cadet will return in 2006 after her adventures to the next dimension.... or, umm Canada.

I lost Grandpa

2005-12-24T08:58:00.000-05:00

Current mood: Freaking out

So my downstairs neighbor asked me to cat sit again for him during the holidays. I said yes to the opportunity right away....

Anyways, so last night the weather was unseasonably warm so I let Grandpa out for some fresh air and exercise after feeding him. I was expecting someone around 10 so I thought I would let Grandpa in at that time. The person cancelled and I started watching this Cantonese movie and slowly drifted off to sleep..... TOTALLY FORGETTING ALL ABOUT GRANDPA!

So I wake up at 5 a.m. and I'm wrapping Christmas gifts and wonder why I have a funny feeling in my stomach, and then I remember "Oh fuck! I forgot Grandpa!"

I immediately run out of my house.... no jacket, no shoes or socks on, and its 7 in the morning and I am walking up and down my block screaming "Grandpa! Grandpa!" Its real quiet on my block now cause I guess the Penn kids and USP kids and others left for the holidays. No sign of Grandpa anywhere.... I hear some rustling in the bushes and see swatches of grey (Grandpa is grey... obviously, what other color can a cat named Grandpa be?) but they were just squirrels.

Grandpa is a smart cat and he knows his way home but I am not sure if he ever spent the night outside before (especially in the winter). Fuck! I feel like such an idiot. I wonder if he is alive.... I wonder if he is shivering, if he is hungry?

So my question is this.... I know that a human being can survive an average of 3 days to one week without food... but what about cats? I fed Grandpa at 9:30 last night.... its 8:30 a.m. now. Any techniques for cat calling? If you were a cat, where would YOU be? Whats the lowest temperature a cat can survive in? Is it too early to put up flyers around the neighborhood?

On to a totally unrelated topic.... That Cantonese movie I was watching, "In the Mood for Love" is AMAZING! You should go out and rent it, especially if you like subtle/beautiful/melancholy movies like "Lost in Translation." Oh and the music is so beautiful, it almost makes me want to pick up the violin again.

How Philly Are You?

2005-12-15T17:14:00.000-05:00

I scored a 70% on the "How Philly Are You?" Quizie! What about you?

Outfits parents shouldn't wear in school

2005-12-14T22:59:00.000-05:00

The kids in my school have to wear uniforms, and the teachers of course have a dress code. But no one tells a parent what they can and cannot wear to school when picking their child up. I wish that common sense was enough so a dress code wouldn't be necessary, but here are some actual outfits I have seen parents wear to pick their child up from school....

Top 7 outfits worn by parents in unnamed Philly charter school...

7) The dad who wore the t-shirt with a picture of a car on it that said "my other ride is your momma" across the top
6) All the moms with tight sweatpants that say "Sexy" AND "Delicious" across the ass
5) "Fuck me I'm Famous!" shirts
4) "I fucked your boyfriend" t-shirts

3) I think all the guys who wear anything by Beanie Sigel's $20-million-a-year clothing line, State Property are real stupid. Maybe I should start making shirts that say "SLAVE" and "CONCUBINE" across the chest and get rich too.

2) Post-pregnancy stretch-marked hips squeezed between tight jeans and and a florescent thong

and my favorite....

1) Yes, a mom actually DID WEAR THIS TO SCHOOL!

Can you find the 75 bands in this picture?

2005-12-03T10:18:00.000-05:00

This is pretty cool.

This is what I found so far... now I'm having a brain fart. If you see one, please add in the comments!

1. Led Zeppelin
2. The Pixies
3. The Gorillaz
4. Guns n' Roses
5. Cornershop
6. The Zombies
7. Rolling Stones
8. Seal (on the poster on the left next to the Zombie)
9. White Snake
10. Iron Maiden (on the zebra crossing)
11. Sex Pistols
12. Smashing Pumpkins
13. Alice in Chains
14. Garbage
15. The Eagles
16. The Beach Boys
17. Crowded House
18. Radiohead (in front of Iron Maiden)
19. Queen
20. 50 cent (the Half Dollar)
21. Prince
22. Red Hot Chilli Peppers
23. Blind Melon (this was a clever one... on the fruit stand)
24. Blur (next to Alice in Chains)
25. Madonna (store window next to Seal)
26. Cowboy Junkies
27. Black Flag
28. Twisted Sister
29. Lemonheads
30. U2 (graffiti on the wall)
31. Great White (next to yellow guy)
32. Dinosaur Jr. (behind the Queen)
33. Matchbox 20
34. Phish
35. Cranberries (you have to enlarge the screen to catch this one)
36. Green Day (the green-colored box on the calendar)
37. Dead Kennedys (on the wall next to Seal)
38. Eminem (lying on the floor next to Smashing Pumpkins)
39. Ratt (running under Twisted Sister)
40. Korn
41. Talking Heads
42. The Police
43. The Black Crowes (sitting on the Main St. sign)

Stroking someone else’s pussy

2005-11-21T23:09:00.000-05:00

My downstairs neighbor requested something unusual from me this weekend.

“Hey, I don’t know if you are gonna be around this week, but I’ll reward you with beer and tequila if you take care of my pussy.”

“Well I’ve never done that before” I thought. My unusually high cell phone bills this month HAVE eaten into my beer budget….. soooo, I GUESS I could give it a shot. “What do I have to do EXACTLY?”

“All you have to do is give it some love. Once every two days is enough, but everyday is better. You can stroke it a little when you come home from work. That would be fine.”

I told my neighbor I would do it. Now, I’ve never really understood cats…. there have been a few I have grown to love, but I never knew if they loved me back. Because here is my theory…. Cats are the players of the animal kingdom. They shower you with attention and affection, and just as you think you are getting close, moments later they act like they don’t know you. They move onto their next conquest. Then all of a sudden you are sitting there, smoking a cigarette, black eyeliner running down your cheeks, voice trembling…. “what does that cardboard box have that I don’t?”

So today after work I approached “Grandpa” with caution. He meowed sadly from my neighbor’s kitchen as I fumbled around with the keys. As soon as I walked in, he twirled around my ankles and rubbed against my legs….. but I wasn’t going to fall for it. I fed him and stroked him like my neighbor wished, but kept myself detached from the moment by reading the mail and drinking my free beer while I did it. I robotically stroked and stroked, but just as I was about to examine the new take-out pizza menu, Grandpa let out this amazing purr. It was this deep and long vibration. It was so calming to pleasure another being so easily like that…. it would be heartless to stop. So I picked Grandpa up and took him to the porch for a change of scenery. We cuddled on the porch with a Corona and listened to and watched the rain come down. With each second I got more comfortable and slouched deeper into the couch. Grandpa’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and he did this weird wiggly thing with his ears. I think that meant he liked it. And just as I was thinking about how I was enjoying this perfect little wholesome moment of my day…. Grandpa decided he was bored with me. He got up and ran after some wet pussy… otherwise known as Sophia, the block's “cat slut” to go dumpster diving.

Things I learned in October

2005-11-04T01:43:00.000-05:00

1. Guy's after-shave lotion + Neosporin heal bike-accident wounds amazingly well.
2. A hug is worth a thousand words.
3. Philadelphia Cream Cheese is the poor-man's imported goat cheese. I substitute it for recipes that call for goat cheese... it tastes good with roasted beet salad.
4. Always wash your face before going to bed.... even if you drank too many mojitos on Halloween and passed out with 99-cent CVS fake blood on your face. (Good news, my rashes are almost gone)
5. If you are quiet and dress moderately well and aren't wearing anything too loud, you can quickly walk into many offices and make a fax or a copy for free. "Act like you belong."
6. The harmonica is really a difficult instrument. Much harder than the violin.
7. Jacob's ladder is one of the scarier movies I have seen in years. I think its from the late '80's..... Tim Robbins looks really young.
8. Sometimes a girl needs to be cat-called. Sure, its belittling and annoying on a daily basis, but when you stop hearing it you miss it. When you get thrown over the handlebars of your bike, land on your face, and come home looking like one of the members of Fight Club, it can make anyone feel a little less confident. I was worried that with my chin bruised and swollen, I looked more like Jay Leno. So the other day I'm riding home on my bike, I'm thinking of how my boss said I looked like "road kill", another teacher called me "bruiser" and then I pass this roofer on the street who simply said "hey pretty eyes." It was exactly what I needed. He may never know how he made my week.
9. Track 6 on the new Fiona Apple album is amazingly simple, raw, stripped down and honest. I think it contains my favorite song lyrics of the year.... "And from the first to the last time the sign said 'stop' But we went on whole-hearted it ended bad, But I love what we started."
10. Washington Square was a massive burial ground in the 1800s when people were dying rapidly due to the highly-contagious Yellow Fever. No wonder it isn't as popular as Rittenhouse Square.

I'm jealous

2005-10-08T19:14:00.000-04:00

It's hard not knowing what you want to do....

I'm jealous of people who, from a young age, know what they want.

I'm jealous of people who have 5-year plans and personal mission statements.

I'm jealous of people who never wonder "what if?"

I'm jealous of people who know who their real friends are.

I'm jealous of women who read US Weekly and can find common ground gossiping with other women.

I'm jealous of men who live and breath sports.

I'm jealous of people who have a "Cheers" / "Max" or "Peach Pit"

I'm jealous of people who know whether or not they want to have kids.

I'm jealous of people who have solid values.

I'm jealous of people who are loyal to one ice cream flavor.

I don't want to turn into the type of person who I'm jealous of, but it would make everything so much simpler.

Isn't it interesting what grad school applications force you to think about?

Mom found my stash!

2005-08-25T14:22:00.000-04:00

This is why I think moms are smarter than dads. When your dad catches you doing something wrong, he will ask a bunch of loaded-gun questions and confront you and give you a lecture about being disappointed in you and the whole think-about-how-this-will-affect-your-future talk while you are either a) denying it or b) silently hanging your head in shame. From that moment on, instead of being more open with your dad all it teaches you is how to better cover your tracks.

But moms, they are different. Before they accuse you of doing anything they will somehow let you know they know. In few words they will make a comment. They will give you “the look.” This will either result in a) confessing, b) stopping the unfavorable habit, or c) both. They are like Law and Order detectives…. they put out the evidence first so you don’t waste your time in denying it. Sometimes they are like teachers, they just look at you and listen real good, and out of nervousness you keep talking and then you are like "how did I let all that out?" You start having verbal diarrhea.

I came home this morning from Strayleah. We are in the process of moving and I remember my mom saying on the phone how she wanted to sell a bunch of furniture. Of course I thought nothing of it at the time. Living at home at my age, you gotta have a goodie drawer… you can’t just leave stuff out in the open and being the type of woman who respected privacy, my mom never pried into my business so I never worried. But then the policewoman who lives across the street said she was interested in buying my dresser.

So this morning I come home and find all my drawers taken out of my dresser. In the middle of my bed are all sorts of rolling papers, filters, and a little plastic bag with brown stuff in it. This is why I respect my mom and give her credit. She didn't say anything. She knows that would freak me out and when I freak out, I am less likely to open up and talk. Even if she looked at me for too long or too closely that would freak me out. But there were no mention, no knowing smiles.... just the stuff neatly on my bed. In other words, she knows. And then this afternoon she called from work to say "Did you polish the wood on your dresser? The policewoman is going to pick it up tonight." That's basically her way of checking if I even walked into my room, and trying to find out if I know that she knows. So all this means that she will expect a confession tonight.

Imaginary conversation:
“Hey ma, you know that stuff you put on my bed?”
Then she will give me the look. “Well, I just wanted to let you know that I am over that stuff. That’s the old me, I’m molding young minds now. See, its not even green. What does that tell you? It tells you that it’s real old. Anyways, you look tired now. How about I do all the dishes and put on a nice movie for you? Oh, and did I tell you today that I love you?”

Before U-Haul yourself to Philly...

2005-08-17T02:59:00.000-04:00

Now halfway through my Australian adventure, I’m slowly thinking about the fact that when I return to Philly this time I will have one less friend. Since 2000, I’ve lost one to two “Philly friends” a year to Brooklyn. If I continue to lose friends at this rate, I expect to have no friends in town by 2010. Philly’s own Plastic Little explained this move-to-NY-after-you-graduate phenomenon the best in their song “Brooklyn.”

So when I read Jessica Pressler’s article “Philadelphia Story: The Next Borough” on the NYT website from my cousin’s Sydney apartment, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of excitement about coming back home. I can’t wait to wrap my hands around a cold bottle of Yuengling (instead of Carlton Draught which is actually most Australian’s beer of choice…. not Fosters) and have a fun night out for less than $20.

At first I was surprised to read Pressler’s story where she wrote about New Yorkers, young artist-types particularly, who were leaving New York to transplant themselves in Philly for cheaper rent and a better quality of life. The trend she was writing about was the total opposite of what I was experiencing in my friend circle. But then I thought of all the new folks who I met at work and at parties (like that cool girl at the Nick Hornby reading) who came to Philly to visit a friend or a sibling, and ended up never leaving. So I guess it evens out because the people moving in replace the ones moving out to Brooklyn (not saying that friends are replaceable). Even I think of leaving sometimes, main reasons being cold weather, bad public transportation, and the thing you don’t hear most Brooklyn transplants admit to: the nearly incestuous dating pool. Maybe Pressler left out many of the bad things in her article because they aren’t bad to her (she’s lived in Boston and Prague before moving to Philly) besides, she didn’t grow up here like I did. It talks about Philly, but actually means only the gentrified neighborhoods of Center City, Old City, Fishtown and Northern Liberties.

Whenever I travel overseas and someone asks, “where do you live in America?” of course I answer “Philly” and get a blank stare. “I mean Philadelphia” I say soon after. Another awkward silence follows soon after to which I automatically respond “its this city between New York and D.C.”

THEN I get knowing-smiles and nods.

Throughout the years I’ve heard everyone, from true locals to transplants, call Philly many things… some mean and some nice. My friend Heroin Matt called it “the asshole of the universe” and The Worldly One called it “unsophisticated” but I like to think of it as unpretentious. I disagree with Pressler calling it the “The Next Borough,” it’s its own big city with a small-town community mentality, sometimes that’s good and sometimes its not. For artists, it’s more collaborative than competitive. My old yoga teacher Miko, who came from sunny California, said that she felt it had an “old energy”, and when Kari, the cute red-haired assistant on Mythbusters visited from San Francisco, she told me she loved that you can get vegan cheesesteaks from Giana’s.

It seems like every few years the mayor’s office or whoever is in power tries different tactics to get young Philly residents to stay to fight the “brain drain.” Every time the various marketing strategies pretty much fail. Youngsters leave to pursue different opportunities and maybe for a change of pace. I mean, it DOES get boring taking the same trolley to work that I took to high school. So this time instead of trying yet another marketing strategy to get Philly college grads to stay, business improvement groups are luring in outsiders. But why was a story about starting businesses and buying real estate in cheap, fat and dirty old Philly in the pretentious New York Times? Do we really WANT Philly to turn into “what Brooklyn used to be?” and most importantly, what is going to happen to all the families that have been living in their neighborhoods for generations and are slowly getting priced out of them? I’m not opposed to attracting new residents, but Philly is my home and I am opposed to a bunch of rich people who only are looking at it as an investment opportunity. The last thing this city needs is more slumlords. Remember that big “fuck you” we gave the Republican National Convention and The Real World when they came to town? Ha ha, that was funny...

Bye bye, Mr. Jennings

2005-08-09T23:39:00.000-04:00

The highlight of my short career dabbling in journalism had to be when I got to meet Peter Jennings through the Columbia J-School boot camp for college newspaper leaders. He leaned back on a chair at the head of a long table at ABC studios wearing a dust blue shirt, looking even more youthful and fresh-faced than the college students who sat around him (this was in the summer of 1999, before the infamous 60-hour work week he pulled during 9-11).

As viewers you can see an anchor on T.V. every night and feel like they are part of your family. But what was cool about meeting Peter Jennings was that familiarity was still there when I met him in person…. he was an instant uncle…. like he knew me too. He spoke about how NOT to become an anchor too early in your career, and the importance of learning foreign languages. I asked him how he communicated when he went to Bangladesh and he said “I was covering Bangladesh before you were born” (spoken just like an uncle) he said that the Indian army translated for him…. which might not be the best idea at the time, but hey we live and learn. I guess they didn’t have as many choices back then when it comes to translators, so you have to deal with the cards you get.

As shocked and upset as I was to read about his death many days later (it wasn’t covered at all in the Australian news) I feel so lucky that I got to meet him at all.

How much is a pinkie worth?

2005-08-09T04:29:00.000-04:00

On Sunday I went to visit a distant aunt, who until very recently, I didn't know I even had. We bonded very easily and instantaneously for two people who have never met before (but I think that's because she looks and speaks strikingly like her sister - the aunt that I AM familiar with.) When I got to her house, she greeted me with what seemed like 20 different dishes, half Bengali (like torkari) and half were American dishes (like spaghetti). I'm guessing she was uncertain of how Americanized or how desi I was so to be on the safe side she cooked everything very sweet woman. Her daughters and I were discussing the Australian public school system when all of a sudden, my attention span failed and I went "Ooh, you have a balcony!" and I swiftly walked over only to trip on a metal strip underneath the doorway. To break my fall I put up my hand but only my pinky caught the railing. So all in a matter of milliseconds, my whole body weight is on my pinkie and even though the pain was severe I had to look brave in front of my Australian relatives so I go "Oh, its nothing." Luckily, they were able to tell by my facial expression that I was really in pain so they offered me some painkillers and I was fine for the rest of the evening.

The next morning when I woke up, my pinkie turned blue and fat as a thumb, the pain even worse. My cousin-in-law suggested that I go to a clinic, where they did some x-rays and determined that it was broken. The visit to the clinic cost $35, and another $34 for the x-ray. At first I was mad, "my pinkie isn't even WORTH $60!", but then after two days with a metal splint on, I started to think of all the things that I really enjoy doing with my pinkie, like playing the guitar, taking
photographs, or writing in my blog.

At Sydney Royal Alfred Hospital's waiting room, I realized how superior the Australian healthcare system is. If you are an Australian citizen, you don't have to pay anything, and if you are a visitor its still somewhat affordable if you aren't going in for something serious. On Thursday I have to meet with another doctor who is going to determine whether or not I have to have surgery, which if I do, will cost at least $100. But if that helps me hold a camera again or finger-pick an E string, than money is no object.

Rainman was right, fly Qantas

2005-08-02T04:20:00.000-04:00

A part of me thought that Australia would be a humongous Route 66, and that I would rent a vespa or something and have my way with it. But so far Sydney is just like any major city, commercial and congested with high real estate. Maybe the rest of Australia will be different. So yeah, I got here safely.

But let's catch up... The last few days before I left were crazy. One of my best friends was getting married, an hour before I was about to do my solo my guitar string popped in the trunk of my friend's hot car. (This will be the first time in 8 years that I will change a guitar string) I find out the DJ doesn't have a microphone stand, so I did my parody of Norah Jones "Come Away with Me to New Jersey" and Coldplay's "The Scientist" with no E string and a skinny kid as a makeshift mike stand. The husband and wife are both scientists and are moving to New Jersey (in case you are wondering why I picked those songs). Luckily it was an interfaith wedding so everyone was either gossiping or too tense to notice how much I sucked.

36 hours later I was supposed to be on my journey, but US Airways has gotten so ghetto they switched me to another flight that didn't take off till 4 hours later. The one perk about getting switched was that Heidi from the Apprentice (my old guilty pleasure) was on the same flight. I wanted to at least say hello and ask her about her experience on and since the show, but
she was on her cell phone the entire time mumbling something about NBC and Maxim. She had the mannerisms and accent of a total Philly girl. Yawn. So hours later, we are on the plane and they make an announcement that dinner is available for $7 and a snack for $3. Wait, why didn't anyone tell me this while I was waiting for 4 hours at the airport! I was hungry as hell and ready to shell out the $7, but when the flight attendant comes by he goes "Sorry, we are out of dinners, how about a bag of pretzels the size of your palm?" What?! A 6-hour flight with no food? That is totally unacceptable. I am adding US Airways to the list of planes I never fly again (along with Bangladesh Biman and British Airways.)

Luckily, the ride from L.A. to Sydney was a total delight. I was really excited about taking Qantas, which according to Rainman (one of Tom Cruise's good movies) is the only airline that never crashed. I kept repeating that to friends on my cell phone at the airport - so much that I worried I was jinxing myself. The attendants are so smiley and humorous that they can ease any tension one may have about flying over the Pacific Ocean. I finally saw Crash and this really good Australian film "Three Dollars" but the in-flight entertainment was certainly not indicative of what was about to come. Sydney is at least two years behind in pop culture. For example, people are just catching on to Sigur Ros and yesterday as I was changing currency at the
bank I saw at least 4 people in stone-washed jeans. Whenever I handle currency that's anything other than US dollars, I have to keep reminding myself that it is real and not monopoly money. More later.

“This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.”

2005-07-19T03:07:00.000-04:00

I stumbled across a really easy, cheesy site www.43things.com and fell in love with it. Every year, I do this thing where I write up a list of goals (long-term and short-term, super important and really frivolous, some measurable and some intangible) and put it either in my planner or journal. Some years I do it with a friend, and some years I do it alone. I think everybody should do this. Because without time to reflect, its so easy to get stuck “going through the motions” and waking up one day wondering what you are doing with your life and why you are not happy. I think crossing off things on your list is more satisfying than a Snickers bar any day. It sounds so simple but its true.

You know that part in Fight Club when Tyler Durden turns the car around into facing traffic and hits the gas and goes “Guys, what would you wish you'd done before you died?” Unfazed by the potential of death, two of the passengers hypnotized by Project Mayhem answer, “build a house” and “paint a self-portrait.” While the narrator is scared shitless and begs Tyler to turn the car around because he is afraid to die, even if he doesn’t know what he wants to live to do.

Getting your goals in writing helps you clarify what YOU really WANT to do, not what society or anyone else expects you to do. That is the basic principle behind www.43things.com. You can list up to 43 goals, see what other people’s goals are (some may share yours), share your progress, and get inspired (or inspire others yourself.) Sure, it may just be another site to help you procrastinate… but if you were so concerned with time management you wouldn’t be sitting here reading my blog, would you? ;-)

I could easily list 43 things here right now, but I don’t want to bore anyone more than I already do…. So I will list 5 of each (not in order of importance), accomplished and unaccomplished (so far).

Space Cadet’s “things I want to do before I die” list - ACCOMPLISHED
1.) Do international volunteer work
2.) Get a Little Sister
3.) See a doctor and dentist (this was a big deal for me since I lived without health insurance for years)
4.) Do freelance photography
5.) Get a teaching job

“Things I want to do before I die” list – UNACCOMPLISHED
1.) Get my driver’s license (can you believe my spaceship license is invalid here?)
2.) Get my mom to try sushi (she refuses to try raw fish!)
3.) Take flamenco guitar lessons in Andalucia
4.) Go to grad school
5.) Fulfill my mom’s dream and take her to Greece

I would be interested in seeing what other’s goals are, I heard that when you write/verbalize your goals, its easier to stick to them. I encourage you all to do what Tyler did (well, pretend). Pretend you are driving fast into oncoming traffic, you are so close to death, your heart is beating so hard that you feel it bursting through your chest. You see bright lights coming towards you, and you hear a loud honk. The lights are blinding you and the honk is all you hear. You are too shocked to think or take control of the vehicle so you just sit back and watch. You are about to die. What do you wish you did while you were alive?

Space Cadet’s Bathtub Recordings

2005-07-14T14:36:00.000-04:00

Some people like to sing in the shower, I have always preferred to play my guitar in the tub. There is something about those bathroom acoustics that make you sound so good (or at least THINK you do!) The bathroom is really the only place where one can truly be alone with their thoughts and “let loose.” I’m not talking about diarrhea but inhibitions.

I will miss my house when my mom and I move next month, and I will miss my tub especially. It’s an antique “claw foot” (popular in movie suicide scenes). For personal closure, I am doing a series of recordings here. The sound is buzzy and it’s poor quality, I mean it IS recorded on a phone in the tub!

I thought of a few names to call the series…
1) Restroom Recordings (I thought that sounded too “public toilet”)
2) Bathroom Recordings (didn’t have the cool alliteration)
3) Bathtub Blues (then I would have to commit to only one genre)

So I finally settled on Tub Tunes. The first of the series is a devotional song called “Mongol Deep Jeley” originally sang by Lata Mangeskar in a movie (forgot the name) I think it might have been called Earth or Mother. I played it at a puja a few years ago. The beat in the background is “Rock #6” on my Casio keyboard.

I can take requests (I guess) but I am really out of practice and my timing is super limited. But I hope you enjoy!

2005-07-14T13:55:00.000-04:00

"Hungry" dudes at Rittenhouse Square

2005-07-14T02:03:00.000-04:00

You meet some of the craziest people at the Square.... there was that homeless guy who had the best jokes..... he came up to me and my friend and didn't ask for any money. All he said was,

"Can I tell you ladies a joke?"

We shrugged and said yeah. It wasn't really dark out yet, and besides his smell, he seemed pretty harmless.

Then he got real squinty-eyed serious and animated.... "Tommy's mom has three kids" (he has up three fingers), "Penny and Nickel, what is the third child's name?"

"Dime" my dumbass answered.

"No! Tommy!"

The two of us smiled. He was encouraged by this, because he said "I got another one."

"What travels everywhere but never leaves the corner?"

My friend and I looked at each other puzzled.

"A stamp."

Then the last and best one....

"What is the best nation in the world?"

America? Is the answer he is looking for America? I think in my head....

"DOUGH-nation! Can I get some change?" he puts out his hand....

My friend and I giggled and gave him some money for being so charming.

Today was Germ's birthday. I took him to that coal oven pizza place on Walnut.... it was yummy but too filling. So we boxed up half the pizza and were walking around with it on Walnut. First "hungry guy" didn't want it. Then we went to sit down at the park and another man came up to us and said "Hey, do y'all have some change so I can get something to eat?"

"Actually, we do have a fresh half-pizza"

"Nah, I'm not hungry..... can I get a cigarette brother?" Germ lights him a cigarette. (Wait, didn't he JUST SAY he wants to get something to eat? Than he says he isn't hungry? WTF?")

"Are you sure?" I said. "It's got roasted zucchinni on it."

"Roasted WHAT?"

"Zucchinni"

"Zucchinni!, what's zucchinni?"

"You know, a vegetable" I said.

"A VEGETABLE?! Forget that!"

He downward slaps the air and walks away and sits with a group of guys on another bench who are tying rubber bands around their forearms. This is happening a few feet away from laughing little kids who are chasing dogs and pigeons.

I don't want to accuse anyone of shooting up in the park, it's just circumstantial evidence. I mean, I would tie rubber bands around my hands all the time when I was in school...... but heroin addict I was not..... if anything, it was more for that "whoooooaaaah! my fingers are cold and blue" feeling. But when an adult does it, it means something else. By the way, the sun was still up. Where were the cops?

Digable Planets in D.C. – Never missed a beat

2005-07-07T21:33:00.000-04:00

dpdj
Originally uploaded by devalina.

Being in a band is the same as being in a relationship. You make compromises and learn to communicate in ways as to not bruise egos. (Booty calls are optional)

I don’t know why Digable Planets ever broke up, but a part of me (a fan since I was 11) felt like a kid who wanted “mommy and daddy to get back together.” A part of you knows that things won’t ever be the same as they used to be….. if it is, it would be a miracle.

Like, you know that friend you haven’t talked to in years? But whenever you meet there is no awkwardness and you start just where you left off. That pretty much describes the vibe from the Digable Planets show last night at 9:30 in D.C.

Whenever a band announces their reunion, fans look forward to seeing them, but at the same time brace for them to fall flat on their face. DP had the comfort and expertise on stage of a group that has been touring for years, but with the energy of a group that is new to the scene (best of both worlds). They seemed real happy to be on stage like friends who are catching up after years of ---- living, and doing other shit.

Crazy One and I were prepared for a venue full of “poser fans” who only came to listen to “Cool like dat”, but were pleasantly surprised to find the place full of people just like us….. people who ten years ago got instantaneously addicted to their funky bass lines and jazz vibes but were too young to see them in concert (or even get into a PG-13 movie). Personally, I haven’t heard anything like them since (don’t say the Fugees or the Roots). Everyone was singing along to all the songs and I think the band saw that as an ultimate compliment.

The sexier than ever Ladybug

I, like most DP fans, have gone through many changes since DP broke up (I got over my obsession with becoming an astronaut). But just because their fans “grew up”, it doesn’t mean they had to. Still revolutionary in spirit, still with mountain-air vocal crispness and clarity, Digable Planets still believe there is some insect conspiracy theory. Personally, I am glad they didn’t go the Prince/Debbie Gibson route and change their bug names to prove to people that they “grew up.” Its nostalgia to me, and I want to remember them like there were. During “what cool breezes do”, when they started singing mantra-like…

“Do what you feel, do what you feel,
do what you feel yeah do what you feel,
do what you feel, do what you feel,
if its real.”

I felt more emotional as the message got drilled into my head deeper with each repetition. I thought of the talented kid in middle school who wanted to be a comic book artist yet sold out for money and is chained to a desk now at some finance department making money for someone else instead of doing what he felt. Anyways, I digress…,.

People are always complaining how hip-hop is so negative, and how it teaches kids to respect violence and racism over women, money and materialism over friends. For negative hip-hop to be combated, positive hip-hop must supported… and although a part of me doesn’t want to share DP with the masses, I hope they get the love they deserve when they tour and release their third album next year. Today in the New York Times there was a story about rappers gaining “credibility” from their crimes. This type of marketing is teaching kids that you have to have a prison record to be a true hip-hop star, and a drug addiction to be a true rock star.

Doodlebug (I shook his hand!) and Butterfly

When will artists get credibility from their education? Did you know that Butterfly went to the prestigious Howard University? I definitely didn’t hear that from the media…. But I did hear that Lil' Kim was sentenced yesterday and that Cassidy turned himself into police… maybe to promote “I’m a Hustla” (I can hear the record executives discussing this in a boardroom…. “How are you gonna promote your next album without a proper prison record? Go out there and kill someone before I tear up your contract!”)

Besides standing next to “Enthusiastic Dancing Guy” and “Needs a Hotel Room Couple”, the show was truly one to remember.

What drug is Space Cadet?

2005-07-06T11:28:00.000-04:00

As a friend (and friendster) of Justin A.K.A. Dulupdate, I had to take the "What drug are you?" quiz. I can't say I am surprised with the results....

You are Magic Mushrooms!

You don't mind taking a little mind trip - even if it leaves you with a ripped up stomach.

You're keen on sitting back and checking out the visuals. Or talking with your cat.

And you're up for the orgasmic powers of shrooms, as soon as your lover stops looking like an alien.

What Drug Are You?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

Fuck SEPTA 2

2005-06-23T22:54:00.000-04:00

Thank you to City Paper editor Duane Swierczynski for exposing the albatross around my neck which is SEPTA.

In this week's issue, Duane wrote about taking SEPTA instead of a cab to get to the airport ... which should be $10 instead of $50, but he ended up paying in other ways. Just one question Duane, did you ever make your flight?

http://citypaper.net/articles/current/wtf.shtml

My blog is officially a year old

2005-06-22T01:48:00.000-04:00

Yay! On June 18th, "Tales of a lost space cadet" turned 1.

A year ago, I created this blog not because I had something important to say, but because I was so damn bored. The kids went home for the summer, I had a 3-story house all to myself, no job, no boyfriend, did I say no job?.... Therefore, no money. Time off is no fun without money.

As I reflect a year later, I've come to one conclusion..... blogging is awesome! It's probably one of the few forums where introverts can be the extroverts. Sure it can be scary (as of 12:30 a.m. June, 22nd this blog has gotten 3,400 hits and I have NO CLUE who most of those people are) but I have to admit it gives me a bit of a "nerd rush."

Through blogging I learned,

1) How easy it is to lie to co-workers on Monday morning when they ask you "what did you do this weekend?" and you tell them how you partied so hard when you really spent Friday night making smoothies and teaching yourself HTML so you can make your blog look cooler.

2) That grown men who don't know each other can and will fight over who has the smallest penis on your "Comments" section.

3) People prefer reading about real life on blogs, fiction only feels right when you are holding a book (not when you are reading it off a computer screen)

4) That my guy friends totally crush on my mom (BTW, I don't care if you do, just don't tell me)

5) That all people are insightful, superficial, arrogant, vulnerable, self-promoting, anonymous, pushers, haters all depending on the day. And there is a beauty in the honesty of that. Human beings are too complicated to be labeled (like newspaper columnists). Maybe blogs are popping up everywhere like pimples on a teenager because people can't relate anymore to the traditional news media, where violence prevails and the only place where you can find any emotion is the sports section.

6) Total strangers will ask you out for gelato if they like your blog (FYI I said no. Even though I was 50% intrigued, the other 50% that was creeped out had greater power)

That's all for now, I'm working on my birthday hangover.

What is America really like?

2005-06-18T13:59:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wondered that? So did my friend Sean…. and this summer he is going to find out – and so will you, if you follow his blogs:

http://courierpostonline.com/blogs/mccann_america.html (official)

http://myamerica05.blogspot.com (unofficial)

Inspired by Philadelphia Inquirer columnist, Mike Vitez, who was sent on the road with several thousand dollars, a photographer and an SUV, Sean decided to do a similar thing for his paper, but taking a less expensive route. Can you imagine traveling in America for a month with only a hundred bucks, a camera and a bus ticket? Sean left this week to do just that and you can read all about it on his blogs.

I recommend reading his posts from “bottom up”, oldest to most recent, for better understanding. Here is a portion of his project proposal:

From: Sean McCann
Re: Summer project proposal

A couple of summers ago, the Philadelphia Inquirer sent "People" columnist (and Haddonfield resident) Mike Vitez out into America with several thousand dollars, a photographer and an SUV. When I heard about it, my first thought was, "Lucky Mike." My second thought: Wouldn’t it be more fun to send somebody out with a hundred bucks, a camera and a bus ticket instead?

Of course, I imagined myself in that role, and the type of stories that might emerge on the way across this vast country. But though I was intensely fascinated with the idea, I never proposed it because I couldn’t think of an angle that would directly speak to South Jersey readers.

Then came the 2004 presidential election.

This past Nov. 2, Camden County went for John Kerry 62 percent to 37 for George W. Bush. Only two municipalities in the county came in Republican, one of them being Tony Tavistock, which backed Bush an overwhelming eight voters to one. Waterford was the only town to mimic the national percentages, going Republican 51-to-48.

The numbers in Camden County weren’t much different than the rest of South Jersey, and the rest of the East Coast, for that matter, and yet the nationwide numbers reflected a very different America. After the election, I came back to a conclusion that I’d first made when I was a college student, a coastal kid plopped down at the University of Missouri: most people don’t realize what this country is really like.

The red state-blue state disconnect is both well documented and oft analyzed, but I think there’s an opportunity here to go someplace deeper. My idea is to wander across the country via Greyhound bus for the period of a month. I’d talk to fellow travelers and stop in towns small and large to find stories and photos that would resonate with any reader. I'd send them back every day or two, to be run under a brand name like "Meet your Nation" or "From the West."

I wish you luck Sean, and wait for you to come back safe. I’m gonna leave with two Kerouac quotes that I think you’ll relate to.

1. So in America when the sun goes down and I sit on the old broken-down river pier watching the long, long skies over New Jersey and sense all that raw land that rolls in one unbelievable huge bulge over to the West Coast, and all that road going, all the people dreaming in the immensity of it, and in Iowa I know by now the children must be crying in the land where they let the children cry, and tonight the stars’ll be out, and don’t you know that God is Pooh Bear? The evening star must be drooping and shedding her sparkler dims on the prairie, which is just before the coming of complete night that blesses the earth, darkens all rivers, cups the peaks and folds the final shore in, and nobody, nobody knows what’s going to happen to anybody besides the forlorn rags of growing old, I think of Dean Moriarty, I even think of Old Dean Moriarty the father we never found, I think of Dean Moriarty.
—Jack Kerouac (On the Road)

2. I'm not a beatnik, I'm a Catholic.
—Jack Kerouac

Re: Fuck SEPTA

2005-06-13T20:09:00.000-04:00

Thought some of you might be interested in what the world's worst urban public transportation organization had to say for themselves in response to my letter .... looks like complaining pays off :)

Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience that this caused you. We will forward your comments to Management in the Bus Transportation Division. As for your refund request, we regret that we cannot accommodate your request as we do not compensate for transit delays. However; if you let us know your mailing address, we will send you two complimentary tokens for use on a future trip.

Sincerely,
SEPTA Customer Service

Always do the right thing

2005-06-12T20:35:00.000-04:00

Last night the cab driver who took me home (and also lives in my neighborhood) informed me that the deli owner who was shot a few months back died. Last time I was there, it was closed. Get-well cards drawn by school children were hanging in the window and a big teddy bear laid by the gated door. The cards made us all feel hopeful. They said things like "I hope you get better fast mister, and I hope the bad guys that took your money and hurt you get caught." All I can think of now is how I used that deli for shelter on rainy days when waiting for the bus in high school. I would buy a 25 cent cholocolate-covered pretzel stick so I wouldn't get accused of loitering. He was such a nice man, and after 14 years of living in this neighborhood, I still don't know his name. I just remember he was nice.

I finally Netflixed Spike Lee's "Do the Right Thing" and a part of me felt like I was watching my own neighborhood's story. Why didn't anyone warn me it was gonna be so sad? I cried buckets when Sal's Pizzeria got destroyed. If it was a Pizza Hut no one would have cared.... but when you destroy a small family business, you destroy a family. The way Spike Lee portrayed the tension between the Blacks, Italians, Asian shop-owners and cops was so realistic. Throw in some Jews and a Bangladeshi family and there is my neighborhood. Oh, the other reason the movie hit so close to home is because it took place in the hottest week of the year, just like it is in Philly now. Some scenes left me confused though....

1) Why did Mookie throw the garbage can through Sal's window, causing a riot, if just a few minutes ago Sal told Mookie how he saw him as a son and he would always have a place for him?

2) After destroying the Italian-owned business, in a fit of rage and emotion, why didn't the neighborhood residents destroy the Korean-owned business too? It seemed like Sal was more popular in the neighborhood than the Korean shop owners.

3) Spike Lee says that at the end of the movie he wanted the Blacks to take a stand. What are they taking a stand against? Other ethnicities having businesses in their neighborhood?

4) Who was the leader or moral authority in the movie? Maybe it was Da mayor because even if he was a drunk, he tried to do the right thing. Maybe it was the radio announcer, he commented on what was wrong with the neighborhood, but than again it is easy to be moral when you are removed in a row-home converted studio. Maybe it was Sal, who shouted nasty words here and there, but was a hard worker and led by example.

The hardest part of the movie for me was when the riot started at Sal's Famous Pizzeria, and Sal and his sons could do nothing but watch both their past and future burn to the ground.

This movie left me restless.... too many thoughts going through my head. I don't know what to do.

All I can think to do now is quit eating chocolate-covered pretzel sticks. They bring on too many sad memories.

Defense tactic

2005-06-10T19:43:00.000-04:00

Today the biggest boy in my class (bully by expectation, not by choice) ran out of the bathroom and goes "the little boy in there tried to pee on me!"

When the little boy (up to my knee little... and if you know how tall I am, you will realize how funny this is) came out of the bathroom, I asked "J, did you pee on D?" J looked up at me with his face as his eyes wandered around and goes (in the teeniest, scatchiest voice) "I didn't PEE ON HIM!"

"D SAID that you peed on him" I remarked.

"He said he was gonna beat me up!" J replied.

"And so you PEED ON HIM?!" I asked.

J hung his head in shame and nodded yes. (a child's honesty can be so heartwarming, no matter what it's about)

I tried to maintain a stern teacher look as my insides were bursting with laughter.

Nick Hornby at Free Library

2005-06-10T19:27:00.000-04:00

Whenever I read a book or hear someone's voice on the radio or phone, I can't help but create a picture in my head of what that person looks like. Usually, my guess is dead wrong….. but I will get to that part later.

When I read High Fidelity, I imagined the author, Nick Hornby to look like the person who played the protagonist in the movie-version of his book. It wasn’t his age or his baldness that surprised me as much as his accent….. who the fuck would have known?! Nick Hornby is British! I don’t remember him particularly using British expressions like, for example, Anthony Burgess…. I just assumed he was American. As American as Rob, the snobby, record store clerk.

Of all the writers I have seen speak at the Free Library, Hornby attracted the biggest crowd—oddly enough, they all kind of looked the same too. Maybe people are attracted to his amazing gift of dialogue…. wait, but a lot of writers are gifted in that…. Hmmmm, I think what makes so many YOUNG people attracted to Hornby’s style is his ability to skillfully use music and pop culture references in a way that is still meaningful.
Sure, sometimes its obtrusive, but he gets away with it because he is funny and honest….. we all know people like the characters in his books. He also was careful to point out that to him, it wasn’t “pop culture, its just culture.”

He read pieces from A Long Way Down (which sounds like it’s going to be the funniest book about group suicide ever), but the best part was the Q & A.

What I liked about him is that he was so much more laid-back than other authors I have met…. Not that he isn’t serious about his work (he really really is) but the fact that he didn’t care that Fever Pitch, a book about football (soccer to Americans), got translated in “Hollywood language” to an American movie about baseball. Refreshingly, instead of getting upset that his book didn’t get portrayed on the big screen exactly, he said, “it’s not about the sport, it’s about a fan’s relationship to the team.” He seemed very grateful to have his books turned into movies at all.

The one annoying part of the Q & A was that it revealed that the audience contained a lot of About a Boy fans, which in my opinion is Nick Hornby’s most unoriginal work. Wasn’t the childish-man-realizes-kids-attract-women storyline overdone on sitcoms long before? Anyways, most of the evening was awesome.

Here were some highlights:

1) No such thing as writer’s block: Someone asked him about how he combated writer’s block and he said that he didn’t understand the concept. He also mentioned the importance of “having a commute to work” and separating a space just for writing, where you can be by yourself. He said he bought an apartment a short distance from his home just for that purpose (also because he has kids and he wanted his son to think that his dad had a job.)

2) Hornby gives shout out to teachers: Someone asked him what he would have done if he wasn’t a writer, to which he answered “I would still write, but to make a living I guess I would have to go back to teaching” (which he actually dreaded and admitted he wasn’t good at.)

3) I got to ask him a question!: One of the best things in the world is getting to meet someone that you really admire and having the chance to look them in the eye, and having them look at you in the eye too. Sometimes I prolong those gazes and pretend that I am stealing their soul…. well, sharing it. I asked, “Who is the first person you show your rough drafts to and why?” He said his partner, because she doesn’t look for style or grammar mistakes, she just tells him if it’s any good and if it’s worthy of getting published.

4) A Long Way Down contains Radiohead references! I’m gonna read it for that reason alone. Because the audience respected his taste in music so much, someone asked him to recommend a band and he said some British band called the Magic Numbers were really good and have been getting a lot of buzz in England.

5) The last guy had the BEST question. He said, “The hardest thing about reading your books is getting attached to these characters and finishing the book and getting the feeling that you will never see them again. Have you ever thought about resurrecting any of your characters in later books?” Hornby answered that he thought of doing that with the couple from High Fidelity. (Smile)

At the end of the reading I contemplated whether I should stand in line and allow myself to be sandwiched between dozens of sweaty hipsters just for an autographed copy. I thought about the autographed books I had collecting dust at home. I let it pass. Just because a book is autographed, does it make it more valuable? I don’t know, I guess it depends on how you feel about the book and how you feel about the author. But if a book sucks, having it autographed doesn’t make it any more valuable.

Going back to the beginning of this post…. Here is how I pictured some people in my head.

Marty Moss-Coane (from NPR)— imagined her to be a blonde
Star (from Power 99)—thought he was white
Fionna Apple—thought she would be black
Pierre Robert (from WMMR)—older with shorter hair maybe?

I could probably think of many more…. Just not at the moment. Feel free to share YOUR experiences.

Fuck SEPTA

2005-06-07T23:53:00.000-04:00

Dear Septa official,

I am writing to voice a complaint about the unacceptable lack of service on the Route 65 today.

Today the 6:25, the 6:45 and the 7:05 p.m. Route 65 buses never came to 69th Street Terminal. There were 50 irate patrons waiting in 90 degree weather. I finally called the 215-580-7800 number on my cell phone and after finally reaching a human being, I was put on hold for 4 PEAK-TIME minutes. The woman on the phone told me that there was an accident on City Line Avenue and that is what caused the lateness.

The accident part I understand. Accidents DO happen. What I don't understand is that in ONE HOUR not one announcement was made to alert the patrons (including elderly people and infants who thank God did not die of heat stroke) of the situation. In over one whole hour, not one SEPTA official came and told everyone what was going on.

If SEPTA was an organized and courteous organization, than announcements would have been made (so patrons could have made other travel arrangements), shuttle buses would have been provided, and every patron would receive a voucher for a free ride. You need to do SOMETHING right to keep the customers you have.

SEPTA customers pay good money, in fact much more than in other U.S. cities and cities abroad, where the service is far superior. It makes us as customers wonder - what are we paying for?

I am writing to you because I want my money back. I want $6.20 specifically; $5 for the cab fare I had to pay to get home, and $1.20 for my cell phone (8 minutes X .15 cents per minute.) I can provide receipts. Since I can't provide a specific dollar amount for "being inconvenienced," I won't include it.

Please keep this in mind: Just because you have a monopoly in Southeastern Pennsylvania, it doesn't mean that you get to do things half-assed. You have a duty, you have a responsibility. People's jobs, and sometimes lives depend on it.

Sincerely,
Space Cadet

Experiment 1: Are ravers really doing tai chi?

2005-06-02T00:27:00.000-04:00

Its science fair time y'all.....

As a way to make up to my parents for not taking up a career in the sciences like a good Asian, I decided to start doing science experiments in my spare time to explore the mysteries of our universe.

Space Cadet would like to apologize for any errors in the experiment. Since I didn't receive any grant money, I was limited to unusual ways to collect data.

QUESTION: Are ravers really doing tai chi?

HYPOTHESIS: I hypothesize that rave dancing is actually just sped-up "meditation in motion", or tai chi

MATERIALS:
1) Philip Glass cd
2) Sasha and Digweed cd
3) Prescription cough syrup
4) Ecstacy
5) Video camera
6) 2 tai chi practitioners
7) 2 ravers

PROCEDURE:
1) After making the tai chi practitioners sign the legally binding documents, ask them to consume the ecstacy and after 20 minutes ask them to go on with their tai chi routine while you play the Sasha and Digweed cd in the background. Make sure this is being video taped.

2) Ask the ravers to sign the same documents, but afterwards feed them prescription cough syrup and ask them to do their rave dancing. Gradually turn up the Philip Glass cd, and don't forget to record the results.

RESULTS: After testing my hypothesis working with different variables, I found that when you put tai chi practitioners on ecstacy and ravers on presription cough syrup, you get the same result. When reviewing the recorded data, I muted the music and noticed that a 16-year-old from Detroit can generate as much chi in a room as an 80-year-old Asian dude.

Black Eyed Peas stole from R.D. Burman in latest hit

2005-05-28T15:29:00.000-04:00

First rule of Bollywood: Never ever cross Amitabh Bachchan.

In 1970’s spy-movie time, Bachchan shined in his role as Don, in the movie of the same name. Don is the badass smuggler who kills anyone who messes with him. He isn’t distracted by money or sexy vamps who throw themselves at him. He says “some other time baby!” And is off.

Everyone knows this rule. That is, everyone besides the Black Eyes Peas.

Earlier this week I stayed late after school after all the students and most of the teachers left. It was just me and some janitors blaring hip-hop on the stereo as they mopped the floors. All of a sudden I heard the beginning few notes of “Yeh Mera Dil Payar Ka Diwana” and thought “are they really playing R.D. Burman on Q102 (a fucking Clear Channel station)?”

Then instead of Asha Bhosle’s voice coming in, I hear Fergie singing “Oh no no no no, don’t mess with my heart.” I was outraged. I’m mad that “Don’t Phunk with my heart” is the 2nd highest download on iTunes now and I can guarantee the majority of people listening to the track think that its some hot original work…. When its totally not. Could it be anymore repetitive? Most people will tell you how great this album is and how the BEP are so "original" and “edgy” with their genre bending sound. Yes it’s true that music recycles itself, but I think it is unfair for artists to make money and not give credit to the original. And in a place like India, which has no concept of intellectual property (or doesn’t have laws to protect artistic work like in the States) it is easy to steal. And since most people who listen to current Top 40 don’t also listen to Bollywood music from the 70’s it is easy for artists to get away with sounding original and not recycled.

So I want to write a post to pay homage to the original song, Yeh Mera Dil Payar Ka Diwana, sung by Asha Bhosle (lip synced by actress Helen) and produced by her husband, the late R.D. Burman (hope you aren’t turning in your grave dude) exclusively for the 1978 movie Don.

You can hear the lame, yet popular, “Don’t Phunk with my Heart” on iTunes or played every hour on any cheesy Top 40 station. (But first, listen to the original, Hindi version that the BEP bit off of.)

In Don, Bachchan plays a Dirty Harry, Shaft-like cool dude smuggler who has men trying to catch him from all angles. Don is killed within the first quarter of the movie (the cops don’t know this). But, what the cops ALSO don’t know is that Don has a look alike. Some unsuspecting, goofball street performer. Sure the story line is cheesy, but I think it is one of Amitabh’s most complex roles. He MAKES the movie. You know what also makes the movie? The music. And the fact that some corny, gimmicky hip-pop group stole it saddens me. At least when Dan the Automator sampled from old Bollywood tracks in Bombay The Hard Way: Guns, Cars And Sitars, he does it with class and more importantly, he gives credit. He isn’t trying to “hide” the fact that he swiped the music.

In the scene leading up to the song, Helen tries to seduce Don by getting into a skimpy white outfit and singing “Yeh Mera Dil Payar Ka Diwana” which loosely translated, means “My heart is maddened with love.” But is Don impressed? No.

And either am I (with the Black Eyed Peas.)

New Gorillaz album nothing to go ape shit over

2005-05-25T01:22:00.000-04:00

Why does is seem like every single music critic is jerking off to Demon Days?

I mean its above average when you compare it to other albums that have been released in recent months, but its definitely not a classic (I wouldn't even call it a solid album) and kind of a disappointment after the first album. But if you are a procrastinator like me, than its worth buying for the fun extra features on the CD.

All in all, the creative packaging and marketing doesn't make up for an inferior album. It won't make you want to lock yourself up in your house, playing Donkey Kong and listening to "Double Bass" on repeat like the first album will.

It makes you wonder why they put this quote on the first page of the free comic book that comes with the album....

"Every great band is destroyed by their success..."

The Ringman

2005-05-25T00:54:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a dream so odd

2005-05-21T11:04:00.000-04:00

Last night I had a dream so odd that I felt that I must share.

I was sitting on a rooftop recently with an old man, like Isaiah, but it wasn’t Isaiah. We were talking and the sounds of traffic way down below were slowing down, becoming more sporadic. It sounded like:

“Beep” (a small polite car)…. “HOOOOONK!” (a driver pissed off at a bike messenger)

[high-pitched] “Hey! Look at me!” (a brat screaming at her nanny at Rittenhouse Square)

[fast-paced, Valley-girl like] “I put on this lotion, feel it. Can you smell it? Its smells like lilies.” (two girls walking out of Bath and Body Works)

“Hmmmmphhhhf” (a SEPTA bus hitting the break)

Maybe the sun was starting to set too…. I don’t really remember.

For some reason, there was a scarecrow on the roof. And it was made out of jute and wicker baskets. Like you know how in the suburbs they have those “ducks on a stick” that people put in their gardens? And their feathers spin around when it gets windy? Well, it was like that…. with arms capable of spinning around…. But instead of arms, the scarecrow had wicker baskets to catch things. It was twice the size of me….. the size of those puppets you see at protests. The hand baskets were coated with dry leaves and old newspapers mostly…. I guess valuable stuff didn’t fly up there.

So I was talking to this old man…. I don’t know about what, I just remember the way he smelled. He didn’t have that old man smell…. More like the smell of someone who worked hard. Anyway, it got windy all of a sudden and the scarecrow started going ape shit….. its arms spun around like an old Brit at a punk show. When it slowed down we saw that it caught a little bottle in its hand basket. It was a tiny black bottle with dust all over it and a fading white label. I was glad it didn’t hit me in the head, but the old man wanted to see it.

He opened the hotel-fridge-sized bottle and took a whiff of it. I remember feeling disgusted. He didn’t know where it came from.

He leaned back, closed his eyes and went “ahhhhhh”

I went “Ew, throw that away. Why are you touching that?”

“Its whiskey” he said.

“But you don’t know where it came from. If you want a drink, I will buy you a drink” I said.

I don’t think he heard me. He put the dusty bottle to his lips and leaned his head back and took a sip.

“Ahhhhh!” he screamed. His eyes weren’t closed anymore. His scream echoed.

“Are you OK?”

He flashed his teeth and said “You gotta try this.” I stepped back and curved my posture. “Its fucking New Deal whiskey girl!” I gripped the edge of the building with my fingers. “Somebody was saving this bottle for something real special. “ He held the bottle up to the sky to examine it in the last glow of natural light. “Person who bought it probably died. Too bad he didn’t get to enjoy it. We gotta do it for that guy. We gotta celebrate on his behalf, it would be a shame if someone threw this down the drain. Damn, sure am glad this didn’t fall into the wrong hands.”

I apprehensively took the bottle into one hand and examined it. “Probably saving it since the 1930’s” I heard him say as background noise. It smelled horrible.

One drop got on my tongue and burned it. “That’s the way you do it girl. You’re drinking history baby, HISTORY!” He was worse than a frat boy screaming “chug chug.” My adrenaline was rushing so I decided to close my eyes and chug the whole thing. “You show ‘em baby. You show ‘em. Nobody can control you! That's the way you say fuck you to the American government.”

It was an adrenaline orgasm.

I fell on my back and opened my eyes. Bad idea. You know how it’s easy to deny you are drunk when you aren’t standing up or have your eyes open? The sky was spinning and the clouds were on fire. The old man was laughing in the background. It all seemed so so real.

Then I woke up.

Nature shots

2005-05-19T19:59:00.000-04:00

I spent a few hours in the burbs.... maybe a move won't be THAT bad. Sure, there might be less "culture" but there is more nature.... so that's good. Here are some of my favorite shots from the day.

25 years after Ian’s death

2005-05-18T22:12:00.000-04:00

I wasn’t one-year-old yet when Ian Curtis hanged himself. Now, I’m not gonna act like an expert…. or even a fan (I don’t own any Joy Division albums) but because Ian’s lyrics intimately reached the masses, I want to write a post to honor his 25th death anniversary.

I heard at least 4 different bands covering “Love will tear us apart” years before I heard the original, and I know many people agree that other bands covering it (New Order and The Cure come to mind) surpass the original, but a part of me believes that Ian was holding back.

Maybe New Order put more emotion in it because SOMEONE ELSE wrote it, therefore singing it with tons of emotion won’t make it seem totally autobiographical. Autobiographies make you naked and vulnerable. But when Ian sang it, he was robotic and removed. If you listen closely, he sounds like a lounge singer wearing a tux and snapping his fingers like Tony Bennett. My theory is that he sang hokily on purpose because that made it seem like he was singing about someone else’s problem.

But I think the tragic thing about Ian’s suicide is that many of us share his same paranoia. Thinking that the whole world is more interested in watching us break down than listening to what we have to say. Thinking that falling flat on your face is entertainment for others. Unfortunately for Ian, this paranoia led him to take his own life.

I have two people close to me who, like Ian did, suffer from epilepsy. Therefore, someone like Ian is important to listen to, because what I learned is that epileptics have a tendency to tell strangers things that they don't tell their closest friends and family. Listening to his lyrics helped me to better understand them.

I remember one hot, sweaty, summer day I was at a zine festival and sort of on a first date. There were people at tables promoting zines everywhere and bands playing loudly on stage. I walked past tables trying to find this guy and when we finally met eyes, this punk band took the stage and very loudly played… what else? Love will tear us apart. We looked at each other and smiled as the singer angrily screamed the lyrics and the bass and drums made the zines jump on the tables. When moments like that happen in movies, they have songs like “Why do birds suddenly appear?” in the background. The whole scene was ironic. A part of me saw it as a bad sign, even a prophecy, but I kept that to myself.

Oh, going back to covers…. I think bands really need to stop covering this song. Why is there a shitty version of this song in every genre now? Come on now, take a break you are killing it. DJs, you too…. we don’t need any more remixes.

So I just realized this post was supposed to be about Ian and his suicide, but it ended up being all about one song. So one more comment about suicide before I sign off…

Suicide is not funny (unless you are this bunny.)

Bye bye!

LOVE WILL TEAR US APART

When the routine bites hard
And ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
But emotions won’t grow
And we’re changing our ways,
Taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again

Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
Our respect run so dry?
Yet there’s still this appeal
That we’ve kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings expose?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just can’t function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again

Bengali quiz

2005-05-15T22:55:00.000-04:00

This is for all you out-of-town folks who don't have Quizzo in your towns....

Some of you may know that I had to host a quiz show this weekend. I included a sample of some of the questions here so y'all can test yourselves too.

Take the Bengali quiz and then Check out the Scoreboard!

(Feel free to post how you did..... I want to know if I made the questions too hard/easy)

Excuse me, there is a finger in my chilli

2005-05-12T03:53:00.000-04:00

RE: Finger in chilli

Dear Wendy's customer,

We have received your complaint regarding the piece of finger in your chilli. Here at Wendy's we take customer complaints very seriously. But first, I need some information from you.

1) Did the finger have a nail on it?

2) Was it a nail-polished finger? Possibly a woman's finger? (Damn Affirmative Action!)

3) Did the finger appear to be darker in color? Was it possibly an Arab or African finger? (If so, please contact the FBI and INS)

4) Which store location did the incident happen in? (Please say San Jose or some southern U.S. border..... those illegal border crossers wouldn't sue over an industrial accident)

5) Did you order the Atkin's-friendly chilli? I mean, you WANTED extra protein and fewer carbs, right? (Whachya complainin' about?)

We wouldn't want to lose a loyal, paying customer to our fine eating establishment so we would like you offer you a reward for being such a brave sport and for not telling your friends, lawyers or the media.....

Hell, I'm feeling nice, how about a free Jr. Frosty to EVERYONE in America this weekend? Absolutely free. No coupon needed. No purchase necessary. Just come in and say "Free Frosty" Friday May 13th through Sunday May 15th.

So why don't you quit complaining, and get to a participating Wendy's now? Then you can sit back and relax like me, with your high-calorie, ice-cold chocolaty refreshment in hand. Ahhh, what a better way to spend a hot summer day? ....... Wait, I'm choking on something..... somethings stuck (pulling out a small curly piece of hair covered in Frosty from teeth.) There, its out (I TOLD those employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom.)

Anyways, thank you for writing. Now if you'll excuse me.... the Spice Channel isn't gonna watch itself.

Sincerely,
Wendy's Customer Services Department

Another friend lost to Reality TV

2005-05-10T23:01:00.000-04:00

I was searching the internet today and to my surprise I find an old buddy on Missy Elliott's new UPN show. I have three friends who ended up on Reality TV. For some, it will be the biggest thing in their lives.... but for others it will be just a small milestone.

First, there was Ellen Cho. We met in an airport in Chicago. I was a sophomore and she was a junior in college.... we were headed to Seattle for our summer internships. When I saw her Asian American Journalists Association bag, I went up to her and started saying "Hey, are you going to.....?"

"Seattle? For that minority journalism students' boot camp?! Yes!!" she enthusiastically finished my sentence.... and proceeded to drag me through the airport like a new best friend..... or a puppy. Whatever. I don't think I've ever met anyone like her..... she was the "Alpha-est" female I ever met. This is what I remember of Ellen.... once we got to Seattle, while the rest of the interns and I slept till the last possible minute at our University of Washington dorms (which are beautiful) .... Ellen got up at 6 a.m. every morning for a run. She talked non-stop, and was misleadingly flirty with the boys (even if she had a boyfriend back home.) If I had to equate Ellen to a place, it would be Manhattan. Energetic and inspirational, but you gotta take it in installments or it will burn you out. Months after our internship we met for dinner in Philly. We went to a Middle Eastern restaurant and she proceeded to give me that "Asian mom guilt trip" when I ordered hummus after she ordered the goat. "Great! Now I feel like a PIG!" I remember her saying. God damnit! Must everything be filled with so much drama?! No wonder you ended up on the Real World, your biggest accomplishment being the ability to sit on a block of ice with your hands in the air for the longest time. Actually, in all fairness I think the Real World made Ellen look a lot bitchier than she really was in person..... but it wasn't far from the truth.

Either before or after Ellen.... or maybe around the same time, Jake Bronstein started appearing on another MTV show, Road Rules. He wasn't a friend actually.... I just say that at parties to look cool :) He sat behind me in Spanish 2 at dear old Central High. Of course, I was too shy to talk to cool, good-looking upperclassmen. Maybe we said four complete sentences to each other the whole time in high school.... and they weren't even in English.

Most recently, I saw Akil Baker on UPN's "Road to Stardom with Missy Elliott." Apparently, he changed his name to Akil Dasan. He was my date to the prom..... and from the day I met him, I knew he was destined to become a great musician. As we waited for friends to come pick us up in the limo, Akil and I played around with my guitar and he played a song he wrote (this is when we were like 17) and I was speechless. Around graduation time, when he told me he was going to Columbia to "be a doctor" I remember feeling proud and sad. Proud that he picked such a noble profession and sad knowing that so many others in the world will never get to hear his music.

It only takes stage presense and good looks to be on the Real World or Road Rules, but Akil has real talent (I'm sure you'll agree if you check out the "behind the scenes video") and out of the three friends who made it to reality tv.... I hope that Akil gets far more than his 15 minutes of fame. He was always mad cool, intelligent and polite and could make everyone in a room smile. He doesn't have the "drama queen" element going for him.... but hopefully his talent will outshine the need for it. I hope that his "realness" isn't spoiled by reality tv. Best of luck Akil, I hope you win!

I'll miss this neighborhood

2005-05-06T20:17:00.000-04:00

Felt like I was in college again this week.... lots of late nights and early mornings spent in bed surrounded by piles of paper, not-hot-enough tea and music. I had to write 19 assessments about the kids in my class for the government. Each assessment took approximately 1-2 hours to complete. Thanks a whole lot No Child Left Behind Act!

19 students x 1.5 hours = too little sleep for Space Cadet.

Last night I had two hours of sleep and wanted nothing more than to come home after work and crash on the bed (now I get to the part on why I'm gonna miss this neighborhood) I have the best neighbor ever!

Imagine to my surprise when I open my front screen door today and there is a bottle of rum and a package wrapped in brown paper. It was the best thing to come home to after a rough week. It was a gift from her trip to the Virgin Islands. Oh, and in the brown paper package was a box of Caribbean Rum Balls. Think Irish potato, but with cocoa and rum. Sometimes people magically read your mind.

Something I've always admired about alcoholics is their carefreeness to drink any place they freakin' please. I just think drinking at bars/parties loses its appeal after awhile. I always enjoyed those times in my life when I was "partying" (in my head) while everyone around me was completely sober. Those memories are so much funnier. Like that time I shroomed in the morning before my Law & Ethics class (I was giving up coffee and looking for ways to get a "bump" in the morning) I think I participated way too much in class that day.... or drinking Mudslides in the park with Rockstar...... or getting blazed in the middle of Rittenhouse on a sunny day with Repressler's roommate. Those moments are much more memorable because the people around us were so serious. There was no loud music or dim lights....

I have to go to a teacher's conference tomorrow. Maybe I will take a mind trip to the Virgin Islands.....

Therapy

2005-05-05T21:27:00.000-04:00

American grocery stores soothe and inspire me.

Through the years, walking up and down grocery store aisles has been a somewhat useful coping mechanism for dealing with my scattered brain. I love the organization in them. Speaking slowly and filtering out useless (and sometimes useFUL) information helps, but when life seems illogical and disconnected, nothing beats a nice walk at the Fresh Grocer.

Grocery shopping to me feels like the only time in my life when I have control. Therefore I must visit one whenever I have lost it. There are probably a million products in there, it has the potential to be a total wreck…. yet you always know where to find that very particular thing you are looking for, whether its Gummy LifeSavers or imported gorgonzola cheese.

The grocery store is a microcosm of life. You have many choices…. I love how the canned foods section is shelved. Canned soups, canned meats and fish, canned beans, vegetarian-canned beans. Amongst that you have everything from the expensive gourmet crabmeat to the generic chicken soup, low-sodium to high-protein. I’m not saying I’m an advocate of mass production and monotony ….. I totally feel Andy Warhol’s Campbell’s soup cans but I think that sometimes it is nice to have the extreme organization of a grocery to depend on.

And just like in life, you can go in with a list (that can help you stick to a practical budget) or you can walk around aimlessly (overspend maybe? and find something that you really like but never heard of) but in the end you have to pay for your choices.

Children behave!

2005-05-03T23:41:00.000-04:00

Its tough being a kid. In some ways you are absolutely powerless and some ways you are full of power. Have you ever noticed how some kids get whatever they want? They have their parents wrapped around their little, chubby fingers.

I think we SHOULD give kids power.... but there is a delicate technique. Kids should work for getting what they want (whether its a shiny sticker, candy or a trip to the park) by doing something nice for someone else or behaving well.

You should NOT however, give kids what they want because they act charming or to stop them from crying. I see too many parents giving their kids whatever they want just to stop them from throwing an embarassing tantrum. What I want to tell every parent, teacher, neighbor, friend is this.... Some kids cry when they are genuinely upset.... but many cry just because it is the only power they have. You mustn't give in. And absolutely don't look at them. If in public, act like it's not your kid.

Take this kid for instance. If someone who didn't know him saw him looking so upset, they might think "Aww, look at that poor kid crying on the bus. Someone must have done something awful to him." See, kids always get sympathy simply for being kids. I see them as little drunk people who can't vote.

This kid ran away on a field trip. We did a head count and were short one. Our hearts raced. When I found the little rugrat I made him sit on a rock and take a time out. He cried maniacly. In a polite but firm and cold tone I said "You are gonna sit on this rock until you get it together." When my eyes were occupied elsewhere he ran away AGAIN, and this time I took him to the bus (where I took this shot). Then I didn't look at him for the rest of the ride. Later, he calmed down and fixed himself.

Highlights of the PIFF

2005-04-30T14:05:00.000-04:00

My fifth year working the Philadelphia International Film Festival was filled with both stress and good times. Although I didn't get to chat up directors or drink beers with struggling actors and discuss the pros of different music formats (records, tapes, cds or mp3s?) like in the past, the festival was filled with some highlights...

1.) Eating David Duchovny's left overs - The dude isn't much of a nibbler I guess. He hardly touched the puffed chocolate pastries or hummus with veggies and pita in his hotel room. Lucky for us, guest services brought his leftovers to the interns and volunteers. Now whenever I watch X-files reruns I can say that I ate something that he breathed on. (Stop making that disgusted face) You N.Y. and L.A. people may think I am the lamest lame-O to sweat over a B-lister like Duchovny.... but you don't get it- actors and actresses don't come to Philly everyday.

2.) Peas at 5:30 - When I read the description in the film guide "Peas at 5:30 takes the notion of 'the blind leading the blind' and turns it inside out" it didn't really appeal to me. Sure, I have never seen a BAD movie about the blind. Scent of a woman, Ray, Black (hindi) comes to mind..... but after a while they all seem cliché. If you seen one, you've seen 'em all... snore. "I get it! He wants to be independent!" So I was surprised that Peas was sold out the night I was working the box office at Ritz at the Bourse. I had to turn dozens away. “Stupid patrons” I thought. Don't they know that the story will be overly predictable? I wanted to grab the disappointed patrons by the collar and go "Look, he's gonna lose his eyesight and become extremely frustrated... he will lose some confidence and gain some sass. In his search for independence, you (the audience) will notice times when he is being taken advantage of and will cry with him when he walks crookedly down the street for the first time as sweet violin music plays in the background." I didn’t do that of course. But I was pleasantly surprised when everyone walked out of the theater and grabbed the ushers and told them how amazing it was. Some even call Peas a German masterpiece. I would half agree. I took my mom to see it at the end of the festival and although the story line was unrealistic and cliché, the visuals were amazing (including the sexy blind protagonist.) Growing up, whenever I would watch a non-South Asian/non-PG rated movie with my parents, I would always brace for the uncomfortable, yet obligatory sex scene. The movies my parents watched hardly had KISSING scenes. The impression I had growing up was that it was ok to let boys kiss your belly button or ankle, but only SLUTS let boys kiss them on the lips. Anyways, so my mom and I get to the point in the movie where the sexual tension is built between the two blind characters and because of financial constraints they must share a room in a hotel. “Fuck, they are gonna do it….. maybe now is a good time to go to the bathroom” I thought. At the same time, I couldn’t turn away. Then came maybe the most beautiful “sex scene” I have ever seen on film. And I don’t mean “hot” but beautiful. Instead of having sex, they touched each other’s bodies as a small leak of light entered the room. I didn’t want them to ruin it by having sex. So just like the time I whispered “don’t kiss her, don’t kiss her” to Bill Murray as he laid in bed with Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation, I whispered “don’t do it, don’t have sex” to the characters in Peas. They listened. But at the end of the scene, she had to ruin it by “cupping” him. Almost a flawless movie.

3.) The Edukators – Personally, this movie opened my mind. I think it should be a must-see for all activists. Even if its in German, I think any activist (or former activist) anywhere in the world will be able to relate. Sometimes it is nice to not take yourself (or activism) so seriously. This movie will give you the chance to laugh at yourself, err…. not really.

4.) Children of the Decree – My very limited knowledge of Romania comes from 20/20 specials about over-crowded orphanages from the 90’s and Olympic gymnast Nadia. I walked into this documentary (I was ushering at International House) about Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu and how he criminalized abortion and contraceptives for women under forty unless they were already raising at least four children. Women were brainwashed to think that having babies was fulfilling some patriotic duty. Although its not an entertaining movie like Peas or Edukators, I recommend it to people interested in social justice.

5.) Chased by Dreams – This Bengali movie should be seen for the drunken scenes alone. I always wondered how village men partied. There were some similarities with another Buddhadeb Dasgupta film Tale of a Naughty Girl. For example, the symbolism of animals and the broken film projector repeatedly showing the same clip. I wouldn’t recommend this movie to non-Bengalis though. The humor gets lost in subtitles.

Space Cadet endorses man dates

2005-04-21T00:35:00.000-04:00

Fellas – Have you ever hung out with another straight guy pal for conversation and maybe to share a meal? Then you mister – have been on a “man date.” Yeah I know it sounds gay to me too, but trust me it’s a great concept. I read this article all about man dates in April 10th’s NYT with fascination. Wow, I thought, what a shame it is that most men do not do this thing that women always have – go out with a straight friend of the same gender and have intimate conversations about “everything and nothing.”

Now you may say, “hold on Space Cadet, I just went out with a buddy of mine last night for a beer – does that count as a man date? Well were you small talking about the game you were both passively watching and about how you were gonna ask your boss for a raise later in the week? If the answer is yes, then that doesn’t count as a man date. Man dates are about really talking and listening to your buddy without the social lubricants of sports, business or alcohol. Wait – I take that comment about alcohol back… wine is ok. Beer is not. Did you see the movie Sideways? As the writer in the NYT article stated, Sideways is really about one long man date.

Psychologists have long studied the patterns in male and female friendships and have found that the most important quality in female friendships is lots of talking and sharing secrets, for males it is sharing activities. Actually, that’s one thing I really like about male friendships – how guys consider it their duty to help a friend move or fix a leaky toilet (actions speak louder than words) – but I digress. Guys need to talk and share more with each other too. Just don’t stop sharing activities, that’s cool…. I think girls should do that more too.

Now you may feel apprehensive about going on your first man date, but never fear Space Cadet is here. And I realize that the man date is by no means a new thing, many of you might already be man daters (and if you are, stop reading now) because here come the man-dating FAQ’s.

1.) Question: I would like to try this man date thing out, but what if people think I am gay?

Answer: Just don’t wear your necktie around your waist and remember to scratch your balls every 30 minutes or so and you’ll be fine.

2.) Question: How do I ask someone out on a man date?

Answer: First, you can’t ask a guy out like how you ask a woman out. It has to be a guy you know, someone you are already friends with. That elusive, sexy and knowledgeable barista boy doesn’t count. Bring it up casually and remember consuming a meal together is totally optional. A man date can be a “walk and talk” in the park. But if you DO get dinner, go Dutch (split the bill in half.) Unless you are Bengali, then you must fight over the check.

3.) Question: Will my girlfriend/wife get jealous that I am hanging out with someone else?

Answer: If you are honest about what you are doing then she probably won’t. If she DOES get jealous, it just means that she is codependent and you are better off with out her. This is the ironic part, because man dates actually help people from settling into co-dependent relationships. Your main squeeze might even appreciate it that you are bitching to your buddy about your issues with your parents/boss/friend instead of her.

4.) Questions: How will going on man dates change my life?

Answer: Numerous studies have shown that men in mid-life are happier and more satisfied in marriages than women in mid-life. Scientists attribute this to the fact that marriage (for men) provides emotional support that they may not get otherwise. Women, of course, find this emotional support network elsewhere with their mothers, aunts, girlfriends and female co-workers to name a few. Man dates can possibly lead to world peace. Ok…. maybe that’s stretching it. But think about it – communicating with other men can increase negotiating skills and sensitivity. The love then spreads to those immediately surrounding them, and then the power of exponents work. Boom, world peace.

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal ...

2005-04-13T18:51:00.000-04:00

You May Be a Bit Schizotypal ...

A bit odd and socially isolated.

You couldn't care less of what others think.

And some of your beliefs are a little weird.

Like that time you thought you were Jesus.

What Personality Disorder Are You?

A Cosi conspiracy

2005-04-10T23:46:00.000-04:00

It doesn't matter which location I go to, lately I have been noticing a peculiar trend at the Cosi sandwich/coffee shops. I have noticed that all the waitstaff at Cosi are young trendy girls or skinny gay boys. Then you look BEHIND the counter and notice that all the non-waitstaff, meaning the people making the salads and sandwiches, are all older and bigger black men with gang tattoos.

Now, I don't want to accuse Cosi of employee discrimination or anything, (like in that Seinfeld episode where Elaine was salty because she found out all the big-breasted waitresses at the diner were the owner's daughters) but what gives? Has anyone else noticed this?

Star & Buc: Phase 2

2005-03-31T23:39:00.000-05:00

As I reflect months after the broadcast of the racist Star & Buc "call to India" skit, I am filled with anger. Sure, we made a little bit of noise for a few weeks, but what came out of it? Nothing. Not a single sponsor dropped, and the duo are still on the air and getting bigger.

Not only are THEY getting rewarded with huge salaries for spreading their hate, but recently Power 99 became a finalist for the 2005 National Association of Broadcaster's Crystal Radio Award for Community Service.

The only thing we accomplished (and I'm proud of this) is that we were able to create some bad PR for such a large radio station. And now Power 99 is trying to win it back.

These hypocrites must be stopped.

Please write:
John David, Executive Vice President
The National Association of Broadcasters
1771 N St., NW
Washington, DC 20036

Some background

Here are the press releases:

Power 99 fm Named Finalist in 2005 NAB Crystal Radio Awards

The Award Honors Stations with the Best in Community Service
Philadelphia, March 14, 2005: Power 99 fm (WUSL-FM) Clear Channel Worldwide: The National Association of Broadcasters announced today that WUSL- FM - Power 99 fm in Philadelphia is a finalist for the 2005 Crystal Radio Awards competition. Since 1987, the NAB Crystal Radio Awards have recognized radio stations for their outstanding year-round commitment to community service. Power 99 fm has previously won four “Crystals” in 1993, 1996, 1998 and 2001 - a record matched by only one other station in the nation.

Crystal Radio Award finalists were chosen by a panel of judges representing broadcasting, community service organizations and public relations firms. Finalists will be honored and winners announced at the Radio Luncheon, Tuesday, April 19, during NAB2005 in Las Vegas.
Power 99 fm is one of Philadelphia's top-rated stations and among the most honored for its community service. In addition to its four NAB Crystal Awards - the station has received numerous local and national honors, including the Mayor's Award for Excellence, Community Action Network Corporate and Media Award, the Mercury Award for Best Public Service, and the NAB Marconi Award for Best Urban Station. The station has also been selected as a “Point of Light” by the National Points of Light Foundation.

and from Power 99....

WUSL FM – Power 99 is the Delaware Valley’s Community Radio Station. When 10 year old Faheem Thomas Childs was murdered in the playground of his school, Power 99 turned off the music to talk about violence prevention. Power 99 sponsored a peace rally that drew 50,000. The station created a Peace on the Street Jam campaign that traveled to eight neighborhoods, brought music from national artists and resources from government and community groups to where it was most needed. Power 99 took over 1000 firearms off the street in a Turn in Gun Campaign. The station traveled to 28 schools in 28 days to encourage attendance and violence prevention. Power 99 awarded eight middle school students with laptops, collected a truck load of school supplies for students in need, and hosted a TV show designed to teach and inspire young people in the sciences. Power 99 registered over 10,000 new voters, hosted a get out vote live broadcast, and provided special reports informing listeners of their voting rights. Power 99 donated over 3 million dollars in airtime, 250+appearances valued at $650,000.00 and raised over $150,000 for charity. Power 99 fm is truly the Heart of Our Community.

What?! You STILL haven't signed the petition?!

Radiohead's Comlag

2005-03-30T23:59:00.000-05:00

Am I the last rh fan on Earth to hear this album? Seriously, I feel like I lost major "fan cred." I don't know when it was released, but I didn't hear it till Tuesday when I was sitting at the Green Line Cafe in West Philly.

I could tell Thom Yorke's voice right away, but doubted it could be rh, cuz they are my favorite band and I have every album but never heard that particular recording before. So I asked the barrista who said it was only released in downloadable form and in Japan. And he said the album was Comlag and it was in fact Radiohead.

"WHAAAT?" I leaned over and shouted over music, traffic, conversations and coffee machines. "Comlag" he said quietly, "com, like dotcom and lag (he pauses) like...."

"Like a lag in time." We said this in unison. I looked up at his eyes. "C-O-M-L-A-G" he spelled it out as Thom sang in the background. It was awesome.

Why do underpaid yet knowledgeable barristas with good taste in music have to be so sexy?

Happiness is so American

2005-03-30T22:19:00.000-05:00

My grandmom and I were watching Wheel of Fortune together tonight and I came to this realization.... People in Bangladesh express their sorrow very openly and are repressed about happiness. And people in America are very repressed about their sadness, yet demonstrative about happiness.

After guessing the correct phrase this college student on W.O.F. started jumping, screaming and smiling ear to ear. She screamed for about 60 seconds while Pat Sajack tried to move on with the show. My grandmom commented on how she gets a kick out of watching people win on game shows and watching their expressions. And how "people in my country" would never do that. I thought about if for a while, and its so true! Well, there are exceptions of course, but for the most part its true.

Images of death came into my head. Like you know when they show scenes from Iraq and Sri Lanka and the women screaming and beating their chests with hands raised to the sky in the "why Lord" position? Thats how people express themselves in Bangladesh.... no holding back pain.

And then more images of death came to mind. American images. Specifically, New Jersey images. I recently saw Garden State, and remembered Largeman's mom's funeral scene, and how everyone was quiet and somber and you could only hear the singer (did anyone else find the funeral scene humorous?) In Bangladeshi funerals, you can't hear anything! It's hard to think its so god damn loud.

In contrast, the "parties" I went to in South Asia were mad tame. First, I thought it was just a "well, its my parents generation" thing, but I saw it in young people too. I took my camera to a party and panned the room with my lens. People were talking and laughing and as soon as they became aware that a camera was on them, they closed their mouths and tried to look serious. I could never tell if people were having a good time. But here, when Americans are aware of a camera they ham it up even more, and try to act like they are having the time of their lives and wait for the camera to capture it.

Even an ex-French professor commented on this. She said how she noticed in America, when you ask someone "How are you doing?" They get all loud, confident and smiley and say "Great! how are you!?" But in France, people don't translate that as being optimistic and positive, they think its weird.... like "what are you so happy about?" Sometimes its even interpreted as being arrogant. Anyways, so she was saying that in France if you ask someone "How are you doing?" They will shrug their shoulders and quietly respond "Comme si comme sa" (so-so). So basically the French are sad by default and Americans are happy by default.

I know I made sweeping generalizations in this post. So if you disagree (or agree), please comment.

New invention: Hot Strawberry

2005-03-28T18:00:00.000-05:00

I came up with another very brilliant idea this weekend. And this time, I wasn't even under the influence when I thought of it.... who needs drugs and alcohol when you have insomnia and boredom?

This idea was inspired by the Crazy One, who loves strawberry milk. Did you ever wonder why there was chocolate milk, hot chocolate and strawberry milk, but no HOT STRAWBERRY?

I say there SHOULD be such a drink, and it should be named after me, because I thought of it. Sure, any idiot with half the brain cells of an ex-raver COULD HAVE thought of it, but I did – and god damnit, I'm 25 and I'm not gonna let anyone stop me from leaving my mark on this planet. No matter how little it may be.

Last and most important.... the name! I like to call this concoction the "Hot Goo-ha!" Those who know my last name should find this hilarious. But than again, I DO have a tendency to laugh at my own jokes. Goo from the strawberry goo, and ha from ha ha ha.

By now you are probably licking your lips and wondering what this hot strawberry stuff tastes like, so here is my recipe (please feel free to make modifications and make it your own).

Hot Goo-ha!

Ingredients:
- 1 mug of hot milk ( I like vanilla soy milk but you can use any type)
- 1 to 2 tbsp. of strawberry goo/powder/syrup (Nestle makes a yummy one)
- whipped cream (optional)

Directions:
Stir strawberry flavoring briskly into hot milk, top with whipped cream. Voila!

Another day, another murder

2005-03-24T09:18:00.000-05:00

This is getting ridiculous....

This time it was a block away from the school I teach at. There are one of those make-shift memorials with pink teddy bears, signs, candles and flowers up now. Its all visible from the monkey bars where my kids play.

Linguist jawn and I were talking about how if people are gonna spend money, why on a $50 teddy bear that's gonna get rained on, torn up and dirty, when that money could go to a non-violence program or the victim's family? But that's another blog for another time. We both agreed that the memorials made DEATH seem "kiddy", like a visit to Toys R' Us.

I heard it was a fight over money and the victim was under 20.

A Confession

2005-03-17T01:20:00.000-05:00

Something to get off my chest.....

I got a Shamrock Shake the other day. Yes, the kind from McDonald's. i did it. I broke the boycott.

One dollar to McDonald's means one dollar to the racist Star and Buc Wild show. I know, I'm a hypocrite. But its soooo hard to be socially concious 24/7.

I'm an adult and i weighed my choice. I knew that one milkshake wasn't gonna make a huge difference, and the Shamrock Shake IS seasonal (only available during St. Patrick's Day season.) And it's soooo good! Think cool milkshake version of an Andes chocolate mint. Yummy :)

Please pardon me for my sins.

Violence in my neighborhood

2005-03-16T00:31:00.000-05:00

I used to think that Baghdad is the most dangerous city in the world now, but this weekend I was forced to change my opinion.

In one week, there were 18 homicides in Philly - that's more than in Iraq during the same time span. When you put things in that perspective it makes you look inside and wonder if America is really what it's cracked up to be.

If I didn't see it with my own eyes, if it didn't happen in my own neighborhood.... I would be able to remove myself from it and think that it was a media exaggeration.

But on Friday when I was catching the trolley at night to meet up with friends, I noticed that news vehicles were circling my neighborhood. The trolley was being unexpectedly late, and instead a shuttle bus came. It took us up Lansdowne Avenue as usual, but then when we got to 57th Street, the bus took a detour and I looked out the window and saw yellow tape and police. I knew that something pretty bad must have happened for the road to be blocked off. Someone on the bus said that there was a news flash and an 18-year-old kid got shot repeatedly on his mother's porch steps.

A few days later, as I took the trolley to work, I passed by the victim's house and saw candles and teddy bears on the footsteps where he was killed. I heard it was drug related. But there is so little about it in the news.

The other murder was a block away from my house. Also drug related. That's the one that freaked me and my family out.

I never knew that the drug situation in Overbrook was so escalated. I always loved this neighborhood. It's diverse, close to the city, but quiet with big houses like the 'burbs. I used to also think that it was safe.

So of the 18 homicides last week, 2 were in my neighborhood. And I think it's fishy that the police can't find a connection. This can't be a coincidence.

Porn in the Classroom

2005-03-07T22:57:00.000-05:00

I remember the exact day my innocence was taken away from me. After that day I would never look at the adults around me the same way. Today, I feel like I did that to some one else.

Some advice, if you are a business that donates old computers to underprivileged schools, please be courteous and erase all your porn files before handing the equipment to minors. But I will get in to that later…

Back to when I lost my innocence.

My early childhood was spent mostly in North Hollywood, where I would go to my uncle’s wax museum on Hollywood Boulevard every day after school. Tourists, hookers and coke-snorting clowns, surrounded me. And I mean REAL clowns with make up and bendy-balloon things, not like “the people I work with are clowns.” But considering all that, I still grew up innocent. I wasn’t even exposed to Barbie and her huge plastic breasts. My world was all about Mickey Mouse and bubbles and ice cream.

Then when I was 8, my parents brought me to an even safer more innocent little suburb outside of Philly called Upper Darby. Although the neighborhood was diverse culturally, it was no Hollywood. Most of the kids in my school were either children of immigrants, or white trash. And everyone first learned about sex at a) home, b) school or c) the streets.

I got my sex education from the most ironic place, the Hare Krishna Temple. And not from the priest, but from a bored little girl outside. It was a beautiful summer day and my parents were inside the temple in Mount Airy. I was on the swing set going as high as I could and this smiling little girl joined me. She was only a year or two older, but so much wiser. We talked about school and I am not sure how the topic came up, but out of nowhere, I noticed the momentum of her swing decreasing, dirt rising under her sandals, and her voice quieting down. I had the feeling in my stomach that she was about to say something important and serious.

She looks at me directly in the eye and goes “Hey, do you know what S-E-X is?” I have never been asked a question so personal before. But I nod yes. Then she goes “What IS it?”

“You know” I say. “It means being naked and kissing someone at the same time.” She laughs maniacally. “No!” Then she gets off her swing and whispers everything she knows on the topic in my ear. “Eeeew! That’s gross!” Then I remember running away and telling my parents that I want to go home. I was quiet the whole car ride home.

I didn’t really believe her. But that same week, two shocking things happened. First thing: My best-neighborhood-friend’s house burned down. A few days after the incident we walked through the house and helped her family look for things to keep and things to throw away. Her uncle probably thought no one would ever rummage through his stuff, but who prepares for their house to burn down? So that brings me to the second shocking thing: Looking at my first porn magazine. So just like your mother says “Always wear clean underwear because you never know when you are going to get into an accident” Space Cadet says “Always destroy your porn stash if you are living in a house with minors because you never know when your house is going to burn down.” It was weird, everything else … his bed frame, desk, newspapers were all burned. But all the porn mags survived. They are like cockroaches I guess.

I remember going through about five magazines, mainly white girls and Korean girls. We were disgusted but couldn’t look away. That was the day that changed me. Now pornography is much easier to access, and way raunchier.

But never did I think that it was gonna be in my classroom. We got a good, working computer about a few weeks ago. It has no Internet. So no worries, right? That’s what I thought.

The kids love playing Dora the Explorer games, Paint It, and simply typing. Today the slow kid with the speech impediment, started playing around with the computer and randomly clicking around. I was close by, but distracted by another student. Then I hear Speech Impediment go “Eeeeew! Naaasty!” and then the extremely talkative naughty kid of the class walked by and exclaimed “Ew! She’s kissing his pee pee!”

I became stone-like. Was this really happening? I couldn’t move. And this wasn’t something that could be misinterpreted as art or cultural anthropology. This was hard-core blow job action in mpeg format. The other teacher walked by and quickly covered the screen with her hands. We tried to restrain our laughter, and tried to get serious. She turned the screen off (but the computer was still on), and said “the computer center is closed.” And of course, the boys snuck back and I quickly turned around and saw a tanned bottom bouncing up and down. I was mortified.

We shut the computer down and tried to distract everyone by talking about dinosaurs.

First it was shocking, then it was funny, and then I felt extremely guilty. Did I take these boys’ innocence away? Will they forget what they saw? Will they tell their moms what they learned in school today? I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

The Outsider

2005-02-22T00:41:00.000-05:00

I spent President's Day running errands, exercising and visiting my alma mater. I think everyone should visit their college campus regularly after graduating. As a student, you constantly stress about papers to write and exams to take, that sometimes you don't get a chance to sit on a bench and absorb how beautiful the campus is. Today I got a chance to do that.

I believe that to experience Temple in it's full glory, the best time to visit is the beginning of fall semester. Regardless, I still had a good time. Many things were familiar (trucks, office workers, buildings) and many were new (there is a 7-11 and Dunkin Donuts now, I don't know any of the students, and the biggest surprise, my old college paper!)

When I walked into the SAC I noticed all the sororities were selling baked goods downstairs. Like a soldier returning home, I traced my old footsteps to notice that much has changed. The SAC renovation is now complete. Now it is more commuter friendly. When I was a student I remember students sleeping EVERYWHERE (including class) but today I did not see one single sleeping student anywhere.

Finally, I saw a familiar face, but it wasn't an old friend ....... it was this mysterious Asian woman sitting upstairs at a desk on the same floor as TN. I have seen this woman for years, yet have never spoken to her. Have you ever seen her? She has long black hair and would always carry many bags and mysteriously show up to events where there would be free food. She looks like she could be around 40. I was never sure if she was a student or an .... "outsider." But how could one be an outsider for so long?

Temple is not like other schools. At Penn, outsiders stick out like a sore thumb (even if you are another student from another school.) But Temple is diverse, with students of all different ages. It is safe to be an outsider there, because it is so easy to blend in. Most outsiders come to college campuses for a purpose. It may be to promote a political cause (I found out after a few semesters that the leaders of the International Socialists Organization were Bryn Mawr students or not students at all), a religious one (remember Pastor Steve?) or to ...... sell Discover cards or some crap. Usually the outsiders would be loud and charismatic.

But the mysterious Asian woman was quiet and never did anything to attract attention. I've never seen her speak to anyone. My eyes never met hers. She walked fast with her head lowered. She read all the kiosks. I've observed her many times, but don't even know her name. I've never had a class with her or known anyone who has. I wonder what a woman like her would major in, I wonder where she lived, I wonder if she has a family. All these questions could have been answered if I just said "hello" and struck up a conversation. But I didn't. I don't know why.

I finally found the TN, which resembles a real newspaper office now. It looked cleaner and more organized. The students appeared well rested (maybe that's because it was a Monday.) Even the paper looks great. They changed some of the names of the sections (Features is now "Temple Living", Entertainment is "Out and About", and Sports is .... still Sports.) Instead of the "slave room" and individual offices for all the editors, it has a central area where all the cubicles are now. So there is better room for communication and less room for sex scandals. Speaking of sex scandals...

I saw nekkid pictures of Debbie Gibson, or rather, Deborah Gibson as she calls herself now. I am so disturbed. She was so clean-cut and pure. When I think of her, I think of 2nd grade innocence. Although dehydration expert thinks the pictures are fake, I think they are real. I shouldn't be that shocked I guess. She was just following the footsteps of Kimberly (from A Different Strokes), Tiffany (the singer), and Jesse (from Saved by the Bell.) Is Ms. Gibson doing this to avoid being the outsider?

Which former teen idol do you think will get nekkid next?
a) The Olsen Twins,
b) Zack and Slater,
c) Raven Simone
d) Kimmy Gibler,
e) Rudy Huxtable (the Chingy video doesn't count) or
f) Other

The New Yo' Momma Joke

2005-02-19T15:33:00.000-05:00

So we all heard our share of yo' momma jokes from childhood.

Example: Yo' momma so stupid she saw a sign that said "Wet Floor" so she peed on it.

My classmates and I would come up with endless, ridiculous and creative come backs. Usually it was lighthearted but sometimes (if it came too close to the truth) feelings would get hurt and fists would fly into faces. I think I was 10-years-old when I heard my first "yo' momma" joke when I would sneak and watch late-night comedy that my parents disapproved of.

At school, I realized most of the kids pirated their momma jokes from stand-up comics and would alter them slightly to target the mother of the chosen classmate. But since I didn't have cable, I was stuck with coming up with my own.

Well, times they have changed.

Kids are losing their innocence faster. Their mothers and fathers are younger. Many of them are raised by their grandmoms. In a chapter called "The Black Inner-City Grandmother in Transition" Penn sociology professor Elijah Anderson wrote in his book "Code of the Street",
"In a literal sense, they fight to preserve their neighborhood and especially the lives of its children. This social context is important to an understanding of the grandmother's role, which, as we noted, has a long tradition but has at times been diminished. If it is resurgent now, that is largely because the social context – the dearth of able male breadwinners, the rise of crack-addicted daughters and male predators, and the general encroachment of the street culture into the fabric of the community – demands it. In her traditional role, the grandmother may really be viewed, romantically at least, as a selfless savior of the community. Her role may be compared to a lifeboat. If she is pressed into service, it is because the ship is sinking."

Maybe that explains why momma/pop jokes are so watered down these days. They aren't as potent or offensive because many of these inner-city kids don't respect their "parents" anyway.

I have a child..... I'll call her "Fresh T." Well, Fresh T was acting up all day so I finally told her that I was going to call her dad and tell him to pick her up. In a challengable and cool tone, T said "Go 'head. Call him. He ain't gonna pick me up. He drunk right now anyway." (Keep in mind that Fresh T is 6).

I always knew that Fresh T was intelligent. Smart and cynical at six. She knows that "yo' momma" jokes are passé. She knows that to really hurt someone, you gotta go straight for the one person they really love and respect. Their grandmom.

Totally unprovoked, she told another child (I'll call him 'Big Cheeks') "Yo' grandma so old, when she talk she look like a turtle with no teeth." Then she proceeded to do an imitation of Big Cheeks' grandmom, by sliding her lips over her teeth and speaking in a muffled grandma voice. I was shocked and amused. Shocked at how mean kids could be, even when they aren't provoked. Amused because I have met Big Cheeks' grandmom, and Fresh T's impersonation of her was cleverly on point. If I saw the scene before my eyes in a movie, I would have laughed hysterically, but since it was real I couldn't.

So as an escape from the politically correct, G-rated image I must portray daily, I am asking for your help, dear reader....

What is the best yo' momma, poppa, grandmom joke YOU have ever heard? You can even make up your own. Be creative. I am gonna make a collection and post them on a later blog.

Thanks for playing!

Highlights/Lowlights of Valentine's Day

2005-02-16T02:16:00.000-05:00

Many years ago, some genius came up with the idea of capitalizing on love. He (I assume) marked a day, and decided to give certain businesses a way to boost their profits at that particular time of year. The businesses that profit the most are restaurants, along with jewellery, flower, sex-toy, lingerie and card shops. The usual outcome for the next day would be for women to have higher blood-sugar levels and men to have less disposable income.

That cynical stuff said, I have to admit that this Valentine's Day was my best ever since I was a kid. I get really uncomfortable when people spend money on me, especially my kids, many who don't have fathers or clean clothes. So when they showered us with gifts, I was almost moved to tears. One mom walked in with heart-shaped balloons and teddy bears (things that I usually think is cheesy) but it was so sincere and sweet. I gave her a big hug and noticed that her coat was wet with rain drops, it almost made me cry. "They don't have cars or money, they shouldn't be walking around in the rain or spending their money on me" I thought. But I was moved that they thought of me. We threw a party in our class and served cupcakes with pink icing, pretzels, cheese curls and candy. Then we sent the kids home to their parents in their hyper state. I forgot how it felt to consume massive amounts of "food" with zero nutritional value. As a kid, I would always look forward to sugar rushes and thought it was the best thing. But now, I feel nauseous if I don't eat healthy at least two meals out of the day. The weirdest gift I got from a student was strawberry-scented socks...

Only girls showed up for newspaper club after school. We laughed and bonded as we drew comic strips. This one 6th grader drew a comic about a "Christmas Crackhead."

Tsunami guy and I went to get Thai food after work as we chatted about "Bride and Prejudice." He brought up an interesting point: Does Gurinder Chadha have a white man fetish? Did you notice how in both of her movies it shows a pretty Indian girl falling into the arms of a white man? Indian men are portrayed as either controlling or gay. So Tsunami guy stated that he would be boycotting her movies. Now I wouldn't go that far. Let's see if the same thing happens in her third movie. Then it will be a pattern.

Oh, I am changing my blog style. After having a talk with dehydration expert, I realized that using real names and pictures can later bite us in the ass. So from now on, I will give everyone code names or describe them with an adjective. That way, friends will be able to figure out what I am talking about but total strangers will not.

As a gift, Mr. Short thought it would be nice to surprise me by sending nekkid pics of a Suicide Girl. Awww, how thoughtful...... now why would a guy send his ex a picture of a completely nekkid girl with candy hearts strategically placed all over her body on Valentine's Day? Just as the crazy one says "I will never understand women" I have to agree, "I will never understand men." In case you were wondering, the SG had a "butter" face. Everything was alright, but her face.

What's religion got to do with pujas?

2005-02-13T22:39:00.000-05:00

If you look it up in an encyclopedia it will say "Puja is the act of showing reverence to a god, a spirit, or another aspect of the divine through invocations, prayers, songs, and rituals. An essential part of puja for the Hindu devotee is making a spiritual connection with the divine. Most often that contact is facilitated through an object: an element of nature, a sculpture, a vessel, a painting, or a print." Thats the verb puja. The noun is "the event where people show reverence to the divine."

But according to my experiences from last night's Saraswati Puja and the pujas from years before, a puja is "an event where members of the Kolkata elite come to gossip, flaunt the clothes and jewellery they got from their last trip to India, brag about their kid's college acceptances and where young people from the community gather to later go out to the city and get wasted."

Every year, I complain and try to convince my mom why I don't want to go. "But I don't FEEL any spiritual connection there, why do I have to go? Why can't we just pray at home?" Then she will give me a lecture about the "importance of community" and how if I gave it a shot it could be fun. I'll come back with "don't I give it a chance EVERY YEAR?" And then she proceeds to give me a guilt trip. This happens every year. "What's religion got to do with pujas?" I ask her.

Does my mom have alterior motives? Maybe. Maybe she wants me to "meet someone" although she will never admit it because than I won't go. I guess it happens in every religion though. Do people really dress up for church to make God happy? Or are they there to meet a special someone with the same values? What does anything have to do with anything?

When I was in student union in high school, I just assumed that everyone was there because they cared about the budget cut that Philly schools were getting and they wanted to organize and make a change. I was wrong about that too. Meat chasers are not just at bars and parties, they exist everywhere, even places where you think the purpose is pure. I'm not calling meeting people unpure, but I just think you always have to be aware. Oh, so at student union one Saturday afternoon we were talking about recruiting new members so someone said "well, what made YOU want to come to student union meetings?" I was surprised to hear that not one, but SEVERAL people said "I decided to join to meet girls/guys." And did you ever notice how at so many art openings very few people are there to actually look at the art? I mean, half the time the art sucks, but people stick around.

So next time you go to that book club meeting, or Democratic Party gathering, don't be surprised when some old, hairy literary critic from the Inky asks you to get dinner with him afterwards.

Ash on Letterman

2005-02-10T19:07:00.000-05:00

She walked on stage waving, smiling and looking pretty in Western casual wear. But as soon as she sat down her defenses went up. Is it just me or did Aishwarya Rai come off as a complete snob on Letterman? Maybe she isn't used to the night talk show style here, where interviews are more fun and conversational and less Q & A. She seemed shocked to meet someone who has never heard of her and isn't familiar with her films. Dave made funny uncomfortable faces and loosened his tie as Ash gave serious one-word answers and laughed at her own jokes. Sure, Ash was never known for her wittiness, and I normally wouldn't give her much importance, but now that she is breaking into the "Western" market she is being thrust into the position of being a representative of India. If she wants to make it here, I think she should do her homework and loosen up a bit. All over South Asia and parts of the Middle East, she has the "sweetheart" image, sort of like how Julia Roberts does here. But less girl-next-door. To the American public, with her appearances on 60 Minutes and Letterman (along with that horrible clip for Bride and Prejudice on Letterman) she is coming off like a complete bitch, the total opposite of her image abroad. I know many Bollywood actors and actresses dream of doing American films, but I hope that in her case this move doesn't hurt her career or take her a step down. Not to sound like an asshole guy, but this girl is hot until she opens her mouth.....

Other things on my mind...

1. The death of Ossie Davis- I haven't seen many of his movies but the reason why I feel a personal connection with this man is because my first photography assignment ever was shooting Ossie and Ruby's press conference promoting their book "Our Life Together." That was years ago, I think I was a freshman or sophomore in college. My world was small. I was youth-culture obsessed. The things important to me at that time were taking photos, going to raves, school, hip hop and wandering the city. Oh, and fighting for Mumia. So there I was, at the Philadelphia Convention Center in the same room with this old couple who I thought I had nothing in common with. Sonia Sanchez did the introduction. In person, Ossie seemed more like a loving grandfather who slowly told stories and smiled while he reflected on his life.... not the Hollywood-type at all. His wife was the same. Ageless, beautiful, loving life and it's simple pleasures. I remember him saying something about struggle, and how struggle made one's life richer and happier. Then someone asked him what he wished for the future to which he replied "I wish Mumia Abu-Jamal would be free." Sonia Sanchez immediately burst out with a high-pitched "li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li." O-KAY. I don't know what that was, but I think that was the Afrocentric version of "right on." That's my memory of Ossie Davis. R.I.P. Ossie.

2. Girl Scout cookies- Yup, it's that time again. I'm like a crackhead for Samoas and Thin Mints. I thought I would have easy access, working at a school and all. But the neighborhood I teach in is pretty suspicious of people selling anything door to door. Even little girls. Imagine the drug dealers fighting little girls about stealing their corner. Actually, if there was a smart girl scout, she would learn to work WITH the dealers and capitalize on people's munchies........ I was sad to recently find out that the girls do not actually make the cookies, they just market them. I feel like a kid finding out that Santa Claus doesn't exist.

Get-to-know-you stuff

2005-02-08T22:49:00.000-05:00

What you are supposed to do is copy and paste it onto a new e-mail/blog entry that you'll send/post.

Change all the answers so they apply to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your
friends, if you did not know them already.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30 a.m.

2. Diamonds or pearls? Neither

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I'm embarassed to admit this, but I saw "The Boogeyman" last Friday with three underaged kids. They really wanted to see it and no adult would take them.

4. What is your favorite TV show? Wife Swap. Tomorrow will be the first Swap with a lesbian family.

5. What did you have for breakfast? Oatmeal and Honey Smacks with hot vanilla soy milk

6. What is your middle name? Don't have one

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Thai.... I love how the coconut milk neutralizes all the spices and the smell of lemon grass is refreshing

8. What foods do you dislike? "Mystery" meat from school

9. What is your favorite chip flavor? Cool Ranch Doritos

10.What is your favorite CD at the moment? Tricky: A Ruff Guide

11. What type of car do you drive? N/A

12. Favorite sandwich? The Delhi from LeBus

13. What characteristic do you despise? Too many to list

14. Favorite item of clothing? Hoodie

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Crete

16. What color is your bathroom? White (when it's clean)

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Huh? What is a brand?

18. Where would you retire to? Portland or India. Any place that old folks get respect and the chance to relax.

19. Favorite time of the day? Laying in bed at 6 a.m. listening to NPR and wishing that I didn't have to get up and go to work.

20.What was your most memorable birthday? Memorable in the good way- 25th at Dave and Busters. Memorable in a bad way- 22nd, the first birthday without my dad.

21. Where were you born? At the Wawa by Jefferson Hospital in Philly.

22. Favorite sport to watch? Football and basketball, although I would rather play than be a spectator

23. Coke or Pepsi? I stopped drinking carbonated beverages in 2002

24. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I go back and forth depending on jobs.

25. Do you have any pets? No, but my students sometimes act like monkeys.

26. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your family or friends? A few weeks ago, I got invited to the Power 99 offices to speak to the head of the Clear Channel stations in the region about Star & Buc. It went ok, but the woman tried to convince me to do a Public Service Announcement! And then she had the nerve to ask if I knew of any South Asian events that Power 99 could co-sponsor. Please..... I'm not gonna be a piece of cold steak on Power 99's bruise from their public relations hit.

27. What did you want to be when you were little? An astronaut, for many years actually

Things Overheard/ The Cell Phone Poem

2005-02-07T22:13:00.000-05:00

As a service to my friends, who need a distraction at work, I decided to update my blog. Do you like the new layout and colors? I thought I was cool, until I went to Mush's site and realized that he used the exact same template!

Best things I overheard this week:

GHETTO GIRL BEAUTY ADVICE- At 40th and Lancaster, two teenage girls were walking down the street and recounting the details of a brawl.
Girl 1: "And then she bashed my face in."
Girl 2: "Use cocoa butter."

SATURDAY WITH MEATHEAD- Ok, this isn't technically "overheard" because he was talking to me while I was on the treadmill.
Trainer guy with no neck: "Some guys come in and think they can do half an hour of cardio and some bench presses and look like ME! (Laughs) I mean, you have to get ECCENTRIC with your workouts. It takes a lot of effort to look like this."
(The whole time I couldn't help but think how MUCH he sounded like Dolly Parton talking to Daryl Hannah in Steel Magnolias. I think Dolly said the exact same thing.)

SACRIFICE-
A woman at the gym: "Guess what I am giving up for Lent? Stress."

And as per request, here is the cell phone poem for anyone who didn't get the email. Luckily I was able to keep my number and get a new one from Verizon for free!

"Twas the week of Christmas
And I lost my cell
I knew trying to find it
Was gonna be hell.

I realized how I depended
On this little piece of metal
Then I remembered something else
And grew unsettled.

The bigger problem appeared
As I was coming out of slumber
Did I really do it?
Did I lose all my friend's numbers?

Oh yes its true!
I don't have it copied anywhere!
It isn't in any of my notebooks
Or organizing software!

Then I imagined some naughty punk
grinning from end to end
Ringing up my phone bill, or worse...
Prank calling all my friends!

So if you got a weird phone call
And I showed up on caller I.D.
Disregard it, please
Really, it wasn't me!

I am sorry for being abrupt
And I know this email is mass
But if I didn't disconnect soon
Verizon would charge up the a**

So if you tried to call me
And wondered what's the matter?
Now you know the reason why
I couldn't chit-chatter.

Why I decided to stop illegal downloading

2005-02-07T20:36:00.000-05:00

It's not because of Garret the cartoon Ferret, who thinks file-sharing is "uncool."

I used to illegally download music but after reading about all the economic effects to the recording industry, and hefty fines the Recording Industry Association of America has been issuing, I have decided to stop. I still plan to download music, but from now on I will do it legally, since there are alternatives. I think the courts have made the right choice by cracking down on individual downloaders and not the file-sharing sites that simply provide the software. Legally, it is wrong to download music from such sites, but ethically I still have to convince myself so. But first, let me explain my reasons for downloading in the first place.

One of my reasons for downloading the music I wanted was out of anger. I was and still am angry at all the big media conglomerates like Clear Channel, who are raping the music industry as a whole. Clear Channel is buying practically every venue and radio station so the mainstream mass is hearing the same songs on the radio every hour, every day. Because of this, it was difficult to hear new music. The industries were getting so big and powerful, that they decided what the public would listen to. Downloading music was my way of protesting. I wanted to hurt the big labels and media conglomerates, not the artists because I am a musician myself and have friends who are also.

My other reason for downloading music is because as an environmentalist, I saw sharing MP3s as a way to eliminate unnecessary labor, plastic and paper, and save some of the earth’s natural resources. Downloading music does not require shipping costs (like the cardboard and plastic each compact disc is wrapped in when you order it from an online site), and it eliminates the need for gas and money for the buyer and distributor. The cost of buying and operating a CD-producing machine is also eliminated.

I liked the fact that I could download just a few songs from an artist without having to buy a whole CD. Usually I only repeatedly listen to 30% of songs on a compact disc while others I skip over. Downloading music felt liberating to me and as a musician, I know that I have distributed a lot of my own music for free because it was more important to me to have others listen to my music than making money. I know that other small, independent artists feel the same way.

And lastly, I downloaded music because it was easy and I knew I was getting away with it. Technology was moving faster than the law, but finally the courts are catching up. Next month, the Supreme Court is to hear MGM (the copyright holders) vs. Grokster (the makers of file-sharing software). As soon as one service would get sued, another service would find some loophole and start something else. In the last few years, things have changed for individual users. It was easier to get away with downloading music before because the first legal actions were not taken against individual users, but rather manufacturers of MP3 players, and Web Sites like Napster, which contained a bank of pirated music on a central repository.

On peer-to-peer file sharing sites, you would also search by song or artist title, but another user who has the song on their hard drive would also have to be online and logged onto the system. Services like Kazaa and Grokster did not contain a central server with the songs on it. I didn’t see what was illegal about that because it is like making a copy of your friends’ music and making mix tapes for them. Musicians who distribute their music this way, are saving themselves promotional, marketing, manufacturing and shipping costs. When the Chicago-Sun Times asked recording executives where they saw the music industry in five years, Ken Waagner, Internet music consultant said “What I really see is that more and more you will see artists being less dependent on the record company as a whole.” (Chicago-Sun Times, 2003)

In 2003, a California judge ruled that file sharing software to manufacturers of copy machines and VCRs in Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. v. Grokster Ltd. Although they can aid individuals to violate copyright laws, they are not liable because the user is breaking the law and the manufacturer is not. (Hopkins, 163)

Illegally downloading music is copyright infringement and I have realized that I can not get away with it anymore because I am primarily liable. Internet service providers, universities with fast connections, and file-swapping software manufacturers are given “safe harbor” because Congress has protected them from secondary liability under the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act, so the pressure to be law-abiding is all on me.The RIAA has started to sue individuals with a “substantial” collection on their hard drives (“substantial” means around 1,000 songs, according the The Economist), and some labels have included “white noise” to illegal copyrighted material that has been download, so when the user starts listening to a song, in the middle they will hear annoying white noise which the music industry hopes will deter users from illegally downloading.

Legally, I know it is wrong to download music, but I never felt bad downloading music because I knew that the people who were profiting from it were the big major labels, who exploit artists and change their image to market music and make money. In earlier and more glorious times, music actually meant something. If you were a musician, you would make music and people would listen to you. If you played at a lounge, pub or hall, the proprietors would take some of the profit. Years later, when record players and recording devices were invented, the musician shared their profits with engineers, producers, distributors and record manufacturers. More sophisticated forms of recording and marketing were developed throughout the years and now the music industry is predominantly business and a little bit of music. I do think that the music industry is evolving and instead of complaining about change, the RIAA needs to realize that musicians will depend less on big labels, and produce music and distribute it directly to the listeners. Like in the movie “High Fidelity” music snobs will continue to brag about having the original pressing of an album on vinyl or whatever medium, and mp3s are not as impressive to these folks. Maybe the RIAA needs to target this type of consumer.

The media portrays musicians as being the victims of Internet music downloading. Lars Ulrich, the drummer for Metallica, is an advocate for musicians against Napster and has been used as a poster boy for the RIAA. But, according to the Chicago-Sun Times, the real victims of peer-to-peer file sharing are not the musicians, but the music business. Metallica, along with some record labels have started sending out Web crawlers called NetPD, which target individual users and send them and/or their employer an email saying that they are caught and are guilty of copyright infringement. Metallica later claimed that after months of using NetPD, copyright infringement was reduced. (Hopkins, 163)

The music industry has sought to persuade listeners that without profits, it will not be able to invest in finding and promoting the bands of the future. File sharing sites allow users to download the work of artists whose music they enjoy, rather than what is force-fed to them on the radio or MTV. Musicians are marketed more for their appearance and gimmick and less for their music. Tera Siwicki of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences told the Chicago-Sun Times in an article last year, “As things get more electronic, the industry is going to have to come up with much more creative ways to market a product besides cover art and liner notes… and maybe the image of the artist won’t be as important as the music itself. If a song is floating around on iTunes, you’re not necessarily looking at the person, you’re looking for music. If there isn’t a focus on the image, then maybe people will focus on the craft.”

My personal opinion is that legal music downloading will not kill the music industry, just change it. Continuing to download illegal, copyrighted material is not only wrong, but economically disastrous. The music industry needs to evolve with technology just like it always has.

The curse of Billy Penn

2005-02-07T01:44:00.000-05:00

billypenn
Originally uploaded by devalina.

I knew the chances of winning were not good, but all I wanted was to go down with a fight. Tonight I realized that "Eagles=All or nothing"

The game started off strong and spirits were high. The Eagles and Patriots were neck and neck. I made sure to wear green and have the same thing for breakfast that I had the day of the NFC (oatmeal & Honey Smacks with hot vanilla soy milk). We even made history (a tie by the end of the third quarter)...... and then at the end, history (the curse of William Penn) repeated itself.

We were doing so well! What happened? What happened to the "game faces" in the fourth quarter? To me, it looked like McNabb stopped trying. You could see the fear and lost determination on his face.

I hate the all-or-nothing attitude that sometimes plagues residents of this city. Is it a fear of success? Are we proud of being the underdogs? Or as my kids would say "under-dawgs?"

I like to make the comparison of tonight's Super Bowl game to the Aesop's Fable "Grapes are Sour." The fox sees this juicy vine of grapes on a high branch and starts to jump for them. He keeps jumping and jumping and after several unsuccessful attempts, he shrugs and says "grapes are sour." What the fox should have done is changed his strategy. It could have climbed the tree or bribed a squirrel to throw some grapes down. But see, the grapes bruised his ego. That's why he gave up.

If the Eagles lost by 3 measly points playing the last quarter half-ass, imagine what they could have done if they actually put their heart into it.

But don't worry people. Tomorrow will be a brighter day. Keep reaching for the grapes....

Be careful what you say to a kid

2004-12-13T20:58:00.000-05:00

One of the boys in my class has long hair that is usually in corn rows, but
today it was in a ponytail.... But the ponytail came loose and soon there
was hair everywhere, "Don King style."

So I started calling him Don King instead of his name. Like, "Get back in
your seat Don King!" It was all in good fun, the kids laughed every time I
said it, and I love the kid and didn't mean any harm.

Unfortunately, when my boss came into the room he yelled out to her "She
keeps calling me DONKEY!" I turned beet red. My boss must thing I am
verbally abusive.

:(

About Raj, so yeah he might be a sell-out to the South Asian community. But
the reason I like him is for his momentum. He doesn't dwell on anything and
bounces back quickly. Come on, he hit on Trump's secretary immediately after
getting fired. I really respect that.

What was that saying again? "When life throws you oranges, make orange
juice."

2004-12-12T23:25:00.000-05:00

I am Progressive Girl
Click on the picture below to read more:

Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com